The "Do I Still Have It?" Affair

Sexual Affairs and His Midlife Crisis

There are so many times when cheating seems to be about something the wife or girlfriend does or doesn’t bring to the relationship. When a woman is cheated on, it’s common for her to think it has something to do with how she looks or her sexual prowess.

Despite the fact that these might be valid concerns, most women have nothing to fear; the majority of cheating men feel very attracted and connected to their women. Usually, the reason why a man cheats is an internal issue, a personal conflict that may have some relation to his relationship with his wife or girlfriend, but truly reflects his own character.

One of the biggest reasons men cheat on their loving wives or girlfriends is to see if he’s “still got it,” that it being charm, game, and panache to pull and entice women. Most of the time, you can observe this type of infidelity during a man’s midlife crisis or other major life events.

Loss of Confidence in Men and Cheating

To understand how a midlife crisis can inspire a once devoted husband’s sexual infidelity, you have to get inside his mind. Often, as relationships stabilize and become routine, passion dies and a sense of normalcy takes over. Predictability is usually a comforting and reassuring aspect of daily life in committed relationships, but it further deadens the sense of excitement and aliveness a couple feels. When conflicts, commitments and obligations are added to the mix, some men feel all but dead and drained by what was once a sexually blissful, romantic relationship.

Men who are too immature to handle their emotions and/or poor conflicts internalize the negativity or boredom of their relationships and its related conflicts as reflections of who they’ve become. Even though most conflicts are resolved within time and the couple maintains a strong bond, insecure men can allow their confidence to nosedive with each struggle. Worried, these men wonder if they’ve become former shells of who they once were: confident, successful and charismatic men who knew how to hook a woman with passion and keep her coming back for more.

Cheating Husband Seeks to Validate Himself

Instead of recognizing that he needs to reconcile those feelings within himself, a cheating husband steps outside the marriage. His efforts to validate himself are not a means of intentionally hurting his wife or girlfriend. They’re more of his attempt to reassure himself that even though his woman’s used to him, he’s still a dashing, charismatic ladies’ man who still possesses the power to capture a woman’s attention.

When he has a sexual affair and captures the heart and attention of another woman, he does so with the intention of giving himself a pat on the back. The other woman, no matter how sexy or beautiful, in the long run is nothing but a means to an end; she’s helping him on his quest to prove his worth to himself. Once the affair is revealed and reconciled, hindsight will prove her little more than a then-needed ego boost, however temporary.

Cheating men foolishly seek out these sexual affairs an effort to prove themselves attractive and loveable in the eyes of women other than their wives and girlfriends, who they assume are just “too used to them.” Though this affair serves some purpose by invigorating cheating husbands with renewed confidence, it comes at the risk of devastating their marriages and wives’ trust. Despite what people think, it doesn’t matter why someone does it; infidelity sucks, period. Upon discovering your husband’s shocking affair, you may feel sickened. Learning that his reasons were even more selfish than suspected my have you disgusted to the core, and wondering whether this relationship is worth saving.

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