Divorced Girls’ Society: Book Review

Life was perfect during the days when you were a bright eyed, bushy tailed member of the ever elite Married Women’s Club. Despite disturbing statistics about cheating husbands, slutty mistresses, and divorce after infidelity, you casually dismissed them. Your husband was your soul mate, you said. You both didn’t believe in divorce, and as for cheating? The word was banned from your vocabulary…until it was discovered that one or both of you had had an affair.

Shamed and furious, divorce is the only option. Clearly devastated, it’s the syrupy-sweet, ornately written notice revoking your membership to the Married Women’s Club arrives that you tip over the edge. Filled with politically correct care, the saccharine aftertaste makes you gag as you read, “Sorry, honey. I’m sure you understand. Here’s to hoping true love finds you in the future.”

Divorced Girls’ Society: The Club You Never Thought You’d Join

Divorcing your husband, is a difficult experience, even more-so when sexual infidelity is the culprit. You need strong support and solid advice; you also need loyal friends but find trustworthy ones are few and far between. Single friends empathize, yet don’t understand the legalities of marriage. Married pals, freaked out by the news, avoid you like cheap designer knockoffs they wouldn’t be caught dead with.

As crushed and alone as you feel, you’re not without company; you’ve just passed your personal initiation and are now part of the Divorced Girls’ Society. DGS’ sassy motto “the club you never thought you’d join” is a witty acknowledgment that even though we hope for the best, sometimes we can’t guarantee our own happily-ever-after.

A sassy girl’s guide to managing divorce, the Divorced Girls’ Society handbook was written with you in mind. Based upon the authors’ personal experiences, this enlightening guide provides clear instruction on handling your divorce, life after divorce, and all its related issues with poise and sass, reminding you that there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if you can only survive the storm. Broken down into several chapters, Divorced Girls’ Society educates you on many things, including how to:

• survive the first 24 hours after the divorce is requested
• know which friends will be on your team
• weed out toxic frenemies who won’t stand by you
• co-exist peacefully with your soon-to-be ex-husband while cohabitating (especially if children are around)
• find an excellent lawyer worth their weight in gold (Hint: avoid the billboards)
• reclaim your individuality
• learn to date and even enjoy sex again

Overall, the Divorced Girls’ Society is an effective tool for any woman who is dealing with divorce, whether they’re considering one, their husband has demanded one, their best friend is going through one, or they’re still dealing with the aftermath of one. Best of all, even though it is highly informative, it still reads as an intimate conversation between friends, and is peppered with tips and tricks for your best friend to help her support you until you make it to the finish line. Check out a free preview and read reviews of the Divorced Girls’ Society here.

Distraction Affairs

Life can be highly difficult and lonely at times, even within a good relationship. Overwhelming stressors – layoffs at work, terminal illness of a spouse or family member, the loss of a loved one or the need to make an important, potentially life-changing decision – can all seem too much to deal with.

When someone has a hard time coping with these deathly sobering issues, they can become vulnerable to engaging in an affair. These are known as distraction affairs, as the person is not actively seeking to deliberately cheat on their spouse or destroy a good relationship. More or less, the affair serves as a distraction, an outlet for pent up frustration, feelings of loneliness, grief or hopelessness.

Distraction affairs also serve to show an individual that they may have been anxious over involuntary changes that coming into their lives. Large changes in our lives which require more energy from us can seem exhausting, especially when they’re not by choice. A distracted cheater might understand this effort is mandatory, yet still shy away from stepping up to the necessary challenge. Instead, his energy is directed elsewhere until he either feels ready or is forced to make that change.

Distraction affairs can appear helpful to the parties involved at first, but they only waste time and energy. A distraction affair delays the inevitable action the distracted cheater must take, whether it’s to make an important final decision on a large purchase, the need to prepare for possible funeral arrangements, or investing in resources to tackle a hefty project at work that is largely understaffed.

Resolve Distraction Affairs

Distracting yourself from life’s problems is only a temporary plug that eventually wears off. Instead of expending time and energy into your affair, you’re better off taking a deep breath and tackling the problem. Begin outlining a defined plan of action to resolve the conflict which stresses you out. If you fear the problem is too large to handle, remember the popular adage which states: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”

Is This a Distraction Affair?

If you can answer yes to at least two of these questions, then there’s a strong chance this was (or currently is) a distraction affair.

Are/Were you miserable about life or a pending life event at the time your affair started?

Are/Were you dejected about your relationship in any way?

Did/Do you feel “stuck in-between” two different tides in life?

Do/Did you feel indecisive or ambivalent towards how to handle feeling trapped?

Did you know that there are 17 types of affairs? Or that most affairs, upon thorough, honest investigation, can occur for more than one reason or serve multiple purposes? Renowned love expert Mira Kirshenbaum asserts and explains these facts in her resourceful book When Good People Have Affairs ,  a candidly written, non-judgmental guidebook for people looking to properly understand their affairs, including distraction affairs.

Why Do I Want to Understand His Infidelity?

There are so many reasons why people have affairs, and there are many names for these different types of affairs. When Good People Have Affairs discusses seventeen different types of affairs that people have and what motivates them. Recognizing the motives of an affair helps cheating men, betrayed women and those caught in the devastation to understand and resolve the behavior. Simply put, when you know why something happens, and how it occurs, you can take steps to prevent history from repeating itself.

Generally speaking, affairs serve several purposes for people. Even if you discover one reason as to how and why your cheating spouse’s affair occurred, it’s always wise to continue researching and looking into the matter, as it may only reveal part of the story.

Also, understanding why your lover cheated on you may clarify some things that you may have never thought about. For example, if you’ve always assumed that you were the reason he cheated, you may discover (in a somewhat bittersweet way) that it had nothing to do with you. You may instead learn that he simply wanted some variety, felt insecure about himself, had been seeking an illicit way to relieve stress, or always fantasized about having an affair. On the other hand, this may further upset you, and rightfully so, because it displays how selfish your cheating boyfriend was.

Overall, though, it’s important that you keep a clear head and an open mind when you embark on an exploration of your cheating boyfriend’s psyche. Although the discovery of his unfaithfulness is painful, aggravating and enraging, your ultimate goal should be to have a clearer understanding of how his mind thinks. Even if you do not opt to stay with him, you’ll be equipped with the clarity necessary for closure so you don’t bring this baggage into your next relationship.

To learn about seventeen types of affairs that people have and why they cheat, check out When Good People Have Affairs on Amazon.

Dealing with Infidelity After A Tragedy

If there’s anything I love, it’s a good piece of fiction, especially one simmered in eroticism, sexuality and unthinkable but realistic situations topped with a healthy dose of humor. Such novels are hard to find, and when I discover one, I’m ecstatic to share. Thus I present to you Zane’s Total Eclipse of the Heart
, a page turner that explores the theme of infidelity in the course of life’s twists and turns.

Damon and Carleigh are a happily married couple who seem to have it all. Damon’s prominent corporate position provides a stable six figure income and comfortable lifestyle. To top it off, Damon is the perfect devoted husband, and a perfect physical male specimen; Carleigh’s friends often comment on their attraction to him.

Damon, however, is secretly irritated by Carleigh’s pride in him as her “trophy” husband, and even more incensed at her friends’ blatant attempts to seduce him under her nose. Damon also has big dreams of owning his own businesses, and constantly endures Carleigh’s refusal to support him. Carleigh also continues to put off his dream of having a family.

Brooke’s was once head-over-heels for her boyfriend, Patrick, until he became controlling and abusive. Patrick comes from a privileged background and enjoys a successful career as a prominent attorney, while Brooke is a waitress. Patrick wields his financial power over Brooke’s life, and his parents constantly remind Brooke that she’s beneath their elite standing and a poor choice for their reputable son. After discovering one of Patrick’s many sexual affairs, Brooke makes the choice to leave him and reclaim her life.

Everyone’s lives intersect during a tragic accident that leaves Damon permanently disabled. Damon doesn’t regret losing his arm; he figures the tradeoff was worth saving lives, but he’s discouraged by the effects his impairment has on his marriage. Now that he’s no longer “perfect” his wife wants almost nothing to do with him. As a result, he forges a strong relationship with the ever-grateful and humble Brooke, the other woman’s life he’s saved.

As I read this book, I was shocked by how heartless Damon’s wife was. Carleigh seemed to have lost all interest and attraction to her husband once he lost his arm, an arm he sacrificed to save her life. Instead of being supportive, grateful wife, she instead pushes him away, allows her friends to disrespect him (and, occasionally, join in) and ridicules his attempts to produce a positive outcome from the situation.

In my mind, I wondered, “What kind of wife does this? Marriage is for better or worse. A man saves your life, and instead of helping him deal with the effects, you dismiss him as useless?”

Additionally, as it stood with Patrick and Brooke, people tried to tell her that she needed to get over his infidelities and get used to them, because she would never find another man like him. While it was quite true that Brooke didn’t appear to have a lot going for her, would any person truly find it an excellent tradeoff to substitute a healthy, strong, loving relationship for “the pampered life”? I don’t think there’s any amount of money that could bring peace of mind to a woman who would rather have a devoted husband over anything else.

Now I must stop and insert here, the infidelities in this book were not solely physical and sexual. At one point, Damon and Brooke’s platonic friendship becomes an emotional affair of sorts. Zane cleverly maneuvers this relationship in a way that clearly shows the dangers of emotional infidelity, yet blends it into the storyline; while you may or may not condone the forbidden intimacy that is shared between these two, there’s a part of you that understands how it occurred.

I could give away the end of the book, but truthfully speaking, I feel it’s too good to spoil. What I will say is, besides infidelity, Zane expresses an important point to her readers:

“The world is full of people who remain in relationships that they realize they have no business in. Yet, they stay, hoping and praying for change, believing that the other person will eventually appreciate them and recognize their value. This cycle leads to regret, despair and oftentimes depression.”

If you’re currently dealing with or have ever experienced an unhealthy relationship, then surely you can affirm the painful truth of this statement. But what does it take before you (or anyone else, for that matter) release yourself of that toxicity and instead open yourself to the potential of experiencing what happens when, as Zane puts it, “two people meet by pure chance…with no expectations between them… [and] nature takes its course … the right way”?

If you’re interested, check out more reviews of Total Eclipse of the Heart

Can a Threesome Make Him Cheat?

If you’re into good romantic fiction, Carl Weber is a great author. His books usually center on several different relationship-based themes, ranging from infidelity to marriage. Unlike most authors, he has a really keen grasp of relationship issues from both male and female standpoints.

We just finished reading Weber’s Something On the Side, an engaging novel about a group of friends all dealing with having more than one relationship in some aspect of another. One character is constantly pressuring her man for a ring, while her ex begs her back in his life. Another character is struggling with intense feelings for a man after being in a controlling relationship for so long. And yet another character juggles different men to pay the bills.

Yet, the most intriguing component of this story deals with a devoted, faithful wife who wants to fulfill her husband’s ultimate fantasy: a ménage a trios. When you read the story, you discover even though it’s a thoughtful birthday present, the husband isn’t pressed to have one. In fact, the husband doesn’t think it’s a good idea at all, but the wife persists and even pays her best friend $5,000 plus perks to help her turn her husband out.

Well, long story short, the best friend and the wife give the husband the time of his life – and the wife doesn’t enjoy it as much as she expected to. Instead, she actually feels kind of slighted and left out because it seemed as if he’s paying more attention to the “new booty” in his bed and ignores the wife. All the moans and groans and the special things he does while in bed with her, he does with her friend, all of which does not sit well with her.

As the story progresses, the wife becomes extremely insecure and jealous as she replays the events in her head from that fateful night. The marriage takes a turn for the worse as she accuses her husband of wanting to continue an affair with the best friend- and even suspects him of sleeping with her. With their marriage on the rocks, the husband devises a crazy plan to put their romantic life back together, but it backfires in a way you would have never expected.

Now, after reading all this craziness, we can’t help but wonder the following:

-         Is it possible, or even necessary, for a wife to fulfill all of her husband’s fantasies?

-         If your man wanted a threesome, would you go through with it for him?

-         If you wanted a threesome, would your man be down for one?

-         If he enjoys the threesome, is it license for him to start sleeping with other women?

-         Can anyone truly handle watching their partner have sex with someone else-and enjoying it?

What are your thoughts?

30 Years of Emotional Infidelity – And He Broke My Heart

I am in healing state.  Things will get better.  However, I would so appreciate some light on how and why a man would do this.  Here is my story….I knew this man for 28 years.  I watched him make a poor choice in marriage.  There was always some chemistry between us.  He is my first born daughter’s god father.  There were times during our marriages when we met and enjoyed being with each other.  We did not have sex.Four years ago my marriage ended.  At approximately the same time, unknown to me, his marriage broke and they bought properties in different states and pretended that he would retire eventually and be with her.

A year after this, he made contact with me and from that moment we were together.  He stood by me throughout the lengthy court case.

He bowled in a club, and never invited me there are his wife was known there and things had not been finished.  I did not know but he had a mixed bowling partner whom he also entertained as more than a friend.  I did not know this.  She did not know about me.  He kept the worlds apart.  I sensed some oddities because I would not see him for whole weekends.  He never asked me about what I had been up to.  He always had to get away to bowls.  He kept his phone close.

He came clean seven months ago and broke up with me.  We drifted back together four months ago under the heading that he was only with me, he was seeking divorce and his properties were to be sold.  He was broke and living with me was what he wanted.  My kids were to be his family.  I met his work peers.  He told them he was going to marry me.  His wife now knew he was seeing me, I had proof of this.

He stayed very close for a month, and I remained very alerted to any odd behaviour.  He presented with it.  He texted in the toilet.  He had to leave when I expected he was staying.  He was not home when he said he was going home.  He had out of the blue invites which he could not refuse and I could not join him because the people came from the club.  He began with mixing with mates/blokes from the club.  He drank excessively.

I found out who I believed the other woman to be.

I visited the other woman and all was revealed.  She was very much the same personality as me, ten years older and not only his mixed bowling partner, his golf partner and lived very close to him.  He had been seeing her and me at the same time for three years.  She is rich.

She finished it with him and so did I.  He apologies for not being able to choose.

Anything you can put forward as to why a human being behaves in this way may help me.

Regards,

Miss Parker,

Short answer: He’s a jackass loser, a user and an emotional abuser. He has never held respect for your or anyone else’s feelings, despite how he acted. His main priority was and will always be himself; the affairs were tools to supply his selfish needs. And he was able to do this because he wanted to and you let him.

The more detailed continuation: This guy’s been entangled in a heap of affairs all along. Yes, he was married to his wife, and you two did not have sexual or physical contact, but emotional intimacy is a core tenet of infidelity. The intimacy he shared with you was also spread out between his wife and the other women you happen to know about.  And there’s no guarantee that he didn’t have sex with them either. I’m sure he was having sex with someone, even if it wasn’t you.

A man like this will always have someone “waiting in the wings”. I’m going to compare his treatment of women to that of a coach and his sports team. He’ll always maintain special relationships with his “star players,” most especially the MVP (the wife). The other members of the team range from benchwarmers (backups) to those next in line to be “up at bat.” But in order for the game to be played, he, as coach of the team, knows he needs more than one player to win. Therefore, he keeps you all in a steady rotation and pulls you in to play as he sees fit.

Initially, I wanted to say that I was sorry that you were a victim of his emotional games, but you were a willing participant. You are as much at fault as this man is. First, you carried on an emotional affair with him for several years. It may not seem detrimental to you since sex wasn’t involved, but looking back, there were roots of romantic intimacy there that shouldn’t have been – otherwise you would have never been “more than friends” after your marriages ended.

Second, I don’t know how old you all are, but at whatever age he is, he has no business trying to move into your home… and YOU have no business allowing him to do so. You both have been doing this dance for close to 30 years, and you’ve let “chemistry” tell you that he’s making poor choices with other women.

Truth be told, you’ve made poor choices for your emotional well-being for decades and you’re moving in the right direction by dropping him. If he wanted you, he’d be with you and none of these funny things he’s done would have been an issue. You would have never watched him marry another woman; you would have been his wife.

As for him, it’s balderdash to believe he’s “so sorry” he cannot choose between you and this other older, richer woman. He’s not sorry for anything except that he’s been caught. She’s another player on his team and financially loaded, which would benefit him for many reasons. This man is a leech, emotionally, sexually and financially, and will continue the next  thirty years of his life as he’s spent the last thirty – building false relationships with women for personal gain and leaving a trail of tears in his wake.

The best thing you can do right now, is to continue doing what you’re doing. Ignore his attempts to communicate with you, make moves to strengthen yourself as a woman and take this as a hard lesson learned that being a willing participant in someone’s infidelity, even if it’s just emotional, is simply a recipe to reap what you’ve sown.

All the best,

Elle P.

Is Every Marriage Equally At Risk for Infidelity or A Sexual Affair?

No marriage is the same as the next, but certain types of marriages that appear to be more prone to infidelity than others. As we review them, keep in mind that while your marriage may fit into any one of these types, this does not guarantee that it will be wrecked by infidelity. Everyone’s situation is different and must be handled accordingly.

Windshield Wiper Marriages

Windshield wiper marriages are frought with bickering, criticism, teasing and open conflict and anger towards one another. As marriage expert Dave Carder writes in Close Calls, “they are like a set of windshield wipers- close in proximity, but always the same distance apart, never meeting, and therefore avoiding intimacy.”

Both husband and wife may never openly discuss this distance between each other, but it’s a silent understanding that’s maintained regularly. While these lovers may appear to be in a negative love affair, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The cycles of pain and verbal onslaught are comfortable and therefore safe to both parties, making them feel a sense of reassurance.

Although most couples work to move past certain issues, this type of couple works hard to avoid resolution; it would end the conflict. In fact, any move to change on one partner’s side will spark intense efforts from the other to pull them right back into the normal spiral of conflict.

Windshield wiper marriages will give both partners a sense of power within the relationship. If one spouse has an affair, it’s more than possible that the other will elect to have one as well, just to “get back” at them. Additionally, this method of a marriage will allow both partners to contribute to the family lifestyle without interfering with each other’s life.

Dial Tone

Dial Tones are highly predictable marriages which neatly avoid conflict. Both spouses have rigid roles in their relationship and fight to remain steadfast to them. The motto for the dial tone marriage is “peace at any price.”

Carder says that many Christian marriages can fall under this trap, as the couples seek to set a “Christian example” of how marriage and conflicts are handled. However, “the ability to treat each other with mutual respect and to be human and honest with yourself, others and God” is missing from the relationship.

Both partners may feel strangely comfortable in this routine, until that is, a dangerously attractive person appears in one of their lives. Sudden, passionate emotions bubble to the surface for the stagnant partner, and they may feel that they’re “brought back to life” again. If this spouse changes his or her behavior, the other spouse might feel puzzled, and state things such as, “Well he/she never acted like this before!”

If and when it’s discovered that the enlivened spouse has had an affair, it’s very easy for the “perfect” spouse, the one who “hasn’t changed”, to pin the blame on the cheater. But this is incorrect; according to most experts, both parties are at fault for the deterioration of this marriage.

marriages at risk for sexual affairs infidelities

Empty Nesters

Empty nest marriages involve spouses who have put everything to the side for approximately twenty years or so, after having devoted such time to raising their children. Having expended so much energy on children, one or both parents have nothing left to talk about; they’ve lost their spark along the way.

Since the marriage has lost it’s importance during the duration of child-rearing years, the future looks bleak. It’s not uncommon for a vulnerable and scared spouse to act out and seek that spark with an extramarital party. Having no idea of how vulnerable and needy they were for adult intimacy, someone can easily fall into an affair after their children leave the roost and they find it difficult to reconnect with their spouse.

Look At the 4 Phases of an Affair: How You Can Recognize an Affair in Progress

Dave Carder is an awesome Christian relationship author. His well-known book, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, discusses the warning signs and “close calls” that people tend to overlook when they or their spouse has an affair.

One of the topics Carder discusses in Close Calls are the relatively consistent phases of sexual affairs and infidelities. Referring to the phases as a “dangerous sequence,” he explains how things can progress from relatively harmless and innocent to horribly out of control.

According to Carder, there are four phases of close calls regarding infidelity, each one progressively more dangerous and alarming than the last.

Phase 1 is when parties experience a growing mutual attraction for one another. “Most parties don’t start out with an intention to commit adultery,” Carder explains. He states that the more individuals get to know each other, the more the attraction grows. He considers this natural, as he feels that God has instilled a sexual nature in us all. In fact, he believes denying this attraction only “intensifies” the situation, and people are led to subconsciously seek out interactions with those individuals.

Entanglement occurs in Phase 2, and involves sharing the illicit feelings with one another. Any communication with the other party becomes sexually charged and heavily anticipated, whether in person or over the phone and in emails or instant messages.

However, in some lesser aspects, entanglement may be as subtle as dropping hints regarding interest. For example, someone might tell another, “If I weren’t married/engaged/involved, I’d love an opportunity to talk to/sleep with/date/romance you.” Nevertheless, this is usually the phase at which an affair begins, and many times, the parties feel the connection was spontaneous.

Phase 3 is characterized by destabilization. If one or both parties felt their relationship went against their moral code, then there’s potential for them to attempt to stop the relationship. This on-again, off-again quality of the affair dangerously prolongs the relationship and creates unhealthy emotional attachments.

At this point, both partners may feel comfort and security by the presence of the other in their lives, even when they’re not together 24/7. They both desperately feel the need to be desired by someone else, and feel that this is something they no longer get within their primary relationships at home.

When people attempt to separate from each other post-affair and move on with their lives, they still find that they crave the others’ reassurance, and this is what draws them back. Marriages which can adopt this process – the cyclical need and pursuit of each other – can expect to see a healthy change in their relationship.

Termination and Resolution is the 4^th and final phase of an affair. Although it feels that trust and security has been built up between affair partners, maintaining the feelings of trust and safety become difficult. The artificial intimacy build by sexual relationships begins to fade and the passion wanes.

All too often, the affair partners may return to their marriage and realize that the passion they had in their affairs was exactly what was missing at home. Sometimes, they may attempt to bring that passion back to their marriages in an effort to rebuild with their partners. (Many times, experts indicate that unsually spontaneous passionate behavior like this is indeed a sign of infidelity in one’s spouse.)

Discovering that intimate details of your troubled relationship with your cheating husband or boyfriend have been shared with an outside party is one of the most devastating aspects of sexual infidelity. And not just the lovey-dovey, happy details, oh no! We’re talking the dirty, deep, dark details that you don’t even want your best friends to know about. As if this weren’t bad enough, he’s not sharing them with someone you even know or trust – but another woman he’s screwing!

Most cheating men know that they’ll have to justify their infidelity to the other woman at some point in their relationship, whether it’s in the very beginning or at the very point in which they decide to voluntarily inform them. As numerous women don’t stand for cheating, there’s a chance that most of the women he approaches brushes him off. On the other hand, there are still women who allow themselves to remain involved with such a man.

Why is this?

Simple: He justifies that they “understand him” and “you don’t.”

In his mind, anyone but his woman is understanding, compassionate and caring when it comes to his relationship and life troubles. This isn’t a completely surprising thought, but what your man fails to understand is that anyone but his wife or girlfriend lacks enough knowledge to determine whether there’s a factual basis for what he says. While he laments that you don’t “give him space” and others agree this isn’t right, they may not understand that his idea of space is disappearing for days at a time without answering the phone or simply checking in to say hello. (Nevermind that impromptu trip to Vegas.)

While you can counterargue the things he says and does, chances are the other woman doesn’t because she assumes that he knows you well enough, and wouldn’t lie on you. Remember, his angle is that he loves you unconditionally, even if you’re a stubborn woman with security issues, and just needs someone to take his mind off the problems you give him at home, because he’s the victim.

Instead of running from this red flag, the other woman will more than likely feel flattered that your man has chosen her to confide in. His lamentations build a false sense of intimacy that plays on her ego, making her further open to his advances. Besides, why would she be upset when your cheating husband’s not talking about her, but talking to her… about your shortcomings?

Is He Cheating on Me? Find Out This Christmas

10 Ways to Tell if He’s Cheating on You

It’s the most wonderful time of the year….well…for some of us.

Many of us know that we tend to spend holidays, birthdays, and special occasions with those who are truly significant, important, and add value to our lives.  Christmas is no exception; in fact, it is THE holiday when women determine they are the Only One in their significant other’s life.

I hear stories all year long from women talking about this guy and that guy, but when it comes to the holidays, especially the Christmas holiday, he’s nowhere to be found and she’s sitting at home alone watching ‘Home Alone’ (pun intended).  Women also, tend to consider some acknowledgement during the holidays as genuine care and concern, which is why a lot of men tend to get away with their cheating ways. In my honest opinion, if you two do not spend the entire day together, chances are he needed his time apart to let someone else know how important they are.

Here are KI’s Top Ten signs that you’re not the only one this Christmas:

10. You receive a mass “Merry Christmas” text message or yahoo greeting card that doesn’t even include your name.

9. He doesn’t call, come by, mail a gift, or even send a text/email.

8.  He doesn’t come by until later that night, or only stays no longer than a half hour during that day.

7. Finding a gift, days before Christmas that YOU THINK is for you, and then when Christmas day arrives you don’t receive it…….

6. The gift he did purchase for you is very generic and has no sentimental value.

5.  He starts a fight right before Christmas and doesn’t call you until days after.

4. He suddenly has to go “somewhere” and he doesn’t want to take you.

3.  He lies and says he’s hanging with the guys for the remainder of the evening. You call one of the “guys” and they have no clue what you’re talking about; nor have they heard from him all day.

2. He wants to spend Christmas with his kids. This can be tricky depending on the level of the relationship, but proceed with caution.

1.  He suddenly converts to a non-Christian religion but back to the paganism come NYE.

So ladies, recognize the signs not only this Christmas, but for the other holidays, birthdays, and special events and occasions throughout the year.  Of course, we’re all adult enough to know there are exceptions to every rule, but don’t make exceptions, excuses, or ignore the obvious. Have a very special, safe, and blessed holiday season.

Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year!!!

Your  Friend,

KenyaInez