Sexy Ms Santa costumes are the sexiest, naughtiest way to spice up your marriage. You’re probably wondering, “Well, how can some random sexy Santa’s Sweetie outfit help me save my marriage? And how am I supposed to find one?”

Holiday season is the time of year where thousands of women can experience depression. Their husbands are either distant, uncommunicative, bored, working late … or simply just not as interested anymore. So many of these women often suspect or have already confirmed their husband is cheating or spending time with another woman, and need help turning the tables so that he’s finding more reasons to stay at home, as opposed to playing Jingle My Bells with his mistress.

Sexy Santa Outfits – Ms Claus to the Rescue!

Learning to spice up your marriage is an important component to keeping a good man and once-devoted husband excited and running home to you every night. Whether you’re wondering if he’s having an affair, or already confirmed that he’s cheating, many times sexual chemistry between you can both help pull him back in your direction. Use the sexy, whimsical appeal of the Christmas season to your advantage to kick up the passion at home. Check out these sexy Santa Costumes to spice up your sex life and get “Ba-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum” you’ve been missing! Click on the ones you like for more information.

Should Elin Have Expected – and Accepted Tiger’s Cheating?

The recent storm of Tiger Woods’ alleged sexual affairs with as many as 11 mistresses has taken the media hostage. It seems nobody expected the PGA’s golden boy to tarnish his squeaky clean image with the possibility of one sexual infidelity, much less the multiple sexual infidelities made public within a span of days.

This all started on November 27, 2009 in the wee hours of the morning. Initial reports stated that Tiger was in a car accident with his prized Cadillac Escalade, damaging property and running into a fire hydrant. Supposedly, Elin “ran out of the house with a golf club after hearing the crash” and found Tiger unconscious with lacerations. Supposedly, innocent Mrs. Woods had no idea that her husband was entering or exiting the house, and was shocked to see him in such a peculiar situation. (Riiiiiight, tell us anything – we’ll eat it up like mother’s Sunday potroast. Not!)

Now, we (obviously) all felt the story was preposterous from the beginning, and felt a sense of vindication when Woods finally admitted to “transgressions” against his family. (Insert scoff here!) As the first mistress, Rachel Uchitel, was outed to the media, she was followed by former Tool Academy reality actress Jaimee Grubbs and 9 others whose careers range from party girls and event planners to porn stars and everyday girls next door.  

While these alleged mistresses are running their mouths and holding on to their 15 minutes of fame, Elin Nordegren – Woods has remained unusually silent about her side of the story. All we currently know is that she’s in talks to have her pre-nuptial agreement revamped to increase her payout from $20 million to over $55 million plus perks for staying with Woods.

Since we cannot get close to Mrs. Woods at the moment, we can only speculate on whether or not Elin knew this was coming. Should Elin have expected Tiger to swing his Cablinasian, Cablasian – whatever he calls himself – club on other open ranges of green? Or was she entitled to believing that he’d have kept his good-old fist pump at home?

Mixed Responses on Athletes and Infidelity

The answer is both yes and no; it varies according to whom you ask. Most people, like Chris Rock, believe that a man is only “as faithful as his options.” Tiger, being a world-renowned golfer with multi-million dollar endorsements and breaking records in history as the first Black man to takeover golf, would be a prime example of a man with an expansive list of options. After all, he’s not the first or the last powerful man, athlete, celebrity or politician to cheat on his wife: many celebrities and powerful figures have had sexual affairs.

Sports writer Jason Whitlock argues that Tiger was ensconced in a “cesspool…[and has] never portrayed himself as a religious holy roller…[eliminating any] reason for surprise about any of this.” Futhermore, Whitlock and other men rationalize that professional athletes and figures feel a sense of entitlement about having affairs; it’s a fiduciary responsibility for the celebrity to attract girls for their friends, even if they’re married, and they assert there’s usually an unspoken agreement that sexual affairs are accepted, so long as the spouse isn’t publicly humiliated by their extramarital activity. In fact, we’ve even read articles stating that Tiger Woods’ Vedic astrological chart inclines him to having sexual affairs, because he has a “porn star planetary combination” in his zodiac charts.

Those who disagree, state that Tiger, like any other man, has morals and ethics to live up to, and his celebrity status don’t supercede his moral responsibility to keep that golf club from swinging in the wrong country club.

“A man with morals, no matter who he is or how many women throw themselves at him, will not concede to have some whore in his hotel room or in his bed,” a dear friend told us.

“Why get married and make a vow of monogamy if you’re not planning to keep it? Nobody put a gun to his head and forced [Tiger] to marry [Elin]!” another lady angrily protested on a webforum.

Some of us have completely mixed feelings. As summed up perfectly by one of our editorial assistants, Elin should have expected it, but at the same time she shouldn’t have to expect it.

“Marriage usually doesn’t make provisions for athletes and powerful men to be excused for humiliating their wives. However, the truth of the matter is that society accepts it, and these women are expected to turn the other cheek and find solace in their husbands’ status and financial stability. Money doesn’t keep you warm at night, but who cares because the prevailing thought is that you’ll at least be able to afford 1500-count Italian sheets to sleep in while your husband’s cheating.”

Learn to Have Sex With Your Husband & Save Your Marriage

Sex after an affair can reconnect you, or instill anxiety

Having sex after an affair is a difficult and awkward experience, wrecked with anxiety and confusion. Throughout the experience, you’ll experience a range of emotions that are incoherent and unpredictable, and pull your cheating spouse along for the ride. One night, you’ll pull your cheating husband closer; the next day you’ll push him away and withdraw. He’s annoyed and confused, but so are you. You wonder, “How am I supposed to do this again? How can I enjoy sex with a husband when he cheated on me and feel blissful about it?”In order to break past your barriers and this issue, you must completely accept these crazy ups and downs and the anxiety. Completely accepting that all of your hopes, fears, actions, thoughts and emotions will be jumbled, confused and anything but neatly organized will allow you to find a sense of peace within the turmoil. Allow all of these crazy emotions and feelings to coexist within you for now, and don’t make any excuses for it. Don’t oversimplify anything you’re feeling, and don’t discredit one emotion when the opposite emotion arises within you. Understand that fear may be ruling your judgment at the moment and allow all your beliefs to be what it is.

In You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life , Dr. Paul Coleman states that allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of your emotions and dealing with them effectively is more important than your choice to have sex.

Should you choose to have sex with your wayward spouse after he’s had a sexual affair, you can communicate your mixed emotions while asserting your decision. You can say, “I desire to intimacy with you and we’ll have sex but my heart is all over the place. I might not feel as intimate or close to you after we’ve made love, but I still want to do this.”

If you’re not interested in having sex, you can state the following: “I really want to enjoy sex with you again, but only when I feel comfortable and ready to do so. Right now, I’m not really feeling this, so let’s pass for now.”

At this stage of the game, while you’re trying to sort out your relationship and save your marriage, it’s incredibly important to accept your feelings without trying to discredit them with logic. You don’t have to express your wide range of feelings all the time; it’s actually prudent to restrain from acting on all your feelings at various times in order to keep your husband from pulling back from the relationship. (If he thinks he’s being rejected, he’ll pull back from you and you’ll take this as a sign he doesn’t care.) Make the best decision you can at the moment while still giving indications that you’re walking on eggshells and acknowledge that he’s doing the best he can.

To learn more about what you can to do to recover from infidelity and save your marriage, check out You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life and read what others have been saying about it.

Dealing With Infidelity – When the Cheater Blames You

My husband cheated on me. He broke my heart and it feels like your world is shifting. Is this really happening? Take a few deep breaths, you tell yourself, Just listen to what it is that he has to say.

He opens his mouth to speak, and you are positive that you just misunderstood what he just said. Did he just say it was your fault he cheated? There he goes again, repeating it. He did say it was your fault. Have you gone insane?

The good news is that you’re not crazy. The bad news is, it’ going to feel like you are. Oftentimes, when someone is responsible for breaking the trust in your relationship, married or dating, he will try to shift the blame. Your husband might say you weren’t affectionate enough or too affectionate. He may say you didn’t have time for him and didn’t want to have sex enough.

Whatever your boyfriend or husband’s reasons are for cheating, you need to know that you are NOT responsible for his cheating. True, there may be some things that are flawed in the RELATIONSHIP because of your behaviors, but you cannot be held responsible for how your husband/boyfriend/fiancé reacts to that behavior.

If you want this relationship sorted out, you two need to sit down, and hash things out. You also need to be strong enough to require that he take accountability for his infidelity before you even consider trying to restore your relationship.

It’s really difficult to forgive a husband cheating on you, a man who has betrayed your trust in such a powerful way, especially when he deflects the blame. Such actions are a sign of immaturity and need to be addressed if you’re really interested in working things out. Talk to your man about going to see a couple’s therapist. They will be able to help you both express how you really feel about your future and let go of the past.

No matter what, chica, remember his behavior is NOT your responsibility – NO MATTER WHAT.

Cheating Men Reveal # 1 Reason for Cheating

Neuman and Oprah discuss cheating men and sexual infidelity live.

Cheating men are assumed to have sexual affairs for strictly sexual purposes. People always assume the desire for more sex, better sex, exciting sex or just having sexual variety is all most cheating men care about. The argument that men are easily visually stimulated, and can never have enough “sex” or “women” is also a frequent justification for why men stray.  “Men are just highly sexual creatures, they can never get enough, and they always want variety,” some argue. “It’s just in their nature.”

92 % Cheating Men: “Sex Not Important!”

Despite the popularity of the explanation, this assumption couldn’t be further from the truth according to M. Gary Neuman. Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It found, through independent research, that only 8 percent of philandering husbands acted from being sexually unhappy. “This means, for 92 percent of the men cheating in the United States, it’s not about sex,” explains Neuman.

Instead, Neuman’s research, which appeared on a series of episodes on Oprah,  asserts that a whopping 48 percent of men who reported having affairs were emotionally dissatisfied. Another 32 percent cited an equal amount of sexual and emotional dissatisfaction. Overall, 59 percent of cheating men felt emotionally unhappy compared to only 29 percent who were only sexually dissatisfied. Only 12 percent of men weren’t experiencing any unhappiness, or cited reasons other than sexual or emotional dissonance.

Further substantiating their claims of emotional distress, 37 percent of cheating men reported that feeling underappreciated by their wives was a major cause of their unhappiness. Another 17 percent felt “emotionally disconnected” from their woman. These two sentiments combined account for 54 percent of the problem these men felt in regards to the emotional relationship they had with their spouse, outweighing lack of communication (11 percent), no longer sharing the same values (10 percent) and having a wife that lost her temper too often (12 percent).

Neuman remarks that issues such as emotional connection and appreciation are seen as complaints only women would have, which perpetuates “the big lie” that women are “the emotional ones, whereas men are like rocks… only needing sex to be happy.”

Cheating Men: Keep Him from Becoming One

While it’s true that men are strong, they also have egos that need to be stroked; everyone does. Most men will tell you that they don’t require you to share every mushy detail and thought you have, but they would highly appreciate it if you showed them your gratitude or nurtured them through your actions on a consistent basis. Doing things like offering your husband his favorite meal every once in a while, giving him a full body massage or a foot rub, surprising him with an afternoon devoted to his desires or simply verbalizing your appreciation for a task well done are all ways that send a message that you not only notice what he does, you acknowledge and appreciate him for it.

Taking this information, try to consider times where your partner has stepped up to the plate and handled his business, and you may not have been appreciative of his efforts. Maybe he washed the kids and put them to bed, only to be met with “Honey I’ve got a headache.” Perhaps he attempted to cook breakfast, and you laughed at his awkwardness around the kitchen. These things may not be serious to you, but you never know the affect it may have had on your partner. Make an attempt to show more gratitude in how he assists you in different things. This not only boosts the sense of connectedness between the two of you, it builds intimacy and reassures your husband that he’s good enough. Remember, for most of us – cheating men included- it’s the little things that matter. Here are three  proven strategies to prevent cheating in a relationship.

Why Some Men Cheat & It’s Not Your Fault

Understanding why men cheat shouldn't keep you awake at night

Why do men cheat? Is it all about sex? Is it the woman, wife or girlfriend? Doesn’t she know how to satisfy him? Are they lacking an emotional connection?

The answer is, not really, but it does depend. Most sexual infidelity, despite the fact that they’re loaded with romanticism, eroticism and intense, passionate emotions, isn’t about sex. Oftentimes, troubled relationships have unresolved, underlying conflicts within them which ultimately manifest sexual affairs and other betrayals. Specific conflicts vary from couple to couple, but include several types of disagreements such as lack of respect mutual respect between husband and wife, less attention paid to each other’s needs, a cheating husband that feels emasculated by his wife, a cheated-on wife who has let herself go physically, or gaping emotional distance.

However, there’s also an aspect of sexual or emotional infidelity that isn’t much discussed: the internally-driven reasons individuals have for seeking romance or other extramarital connections outside their primary relationship. More or less, it’s quite possible that the reason your husband cheats or has cheated has quite little to do with you, and everything to do with his personal attitude and state of mind.

In her book, Sexual Detours: The Startling Truth Behind Love, Lust, and Infidelity, Dr. Holly Hein lists several reasons for sexual infidelity or emotional affairs which explore self-motivated reasons as to why your or my husband or spouse cheated.  Surprisingly, none of Hein’s reasons why men and women cheat on spouses have anything to do with something the betrayed party may have done.  According to Dr. Hein, a person may cheat:

To escape life and related anxieties. Emotions aroused from infidelity can function as an effective detour against internal conflicts from unresolved life situations and profound events. For example, a man that highly values being the primary breadwinner may have an affair after he loses his job due to the traumatic feelings of no longer being the breadwinner. He feels emasculated, and thus resorts to a sexual partner who makes him feel alive and helps him avoid the emotional conflict he experiences.

To avoid intimacy. Sexual behavior can be used as an excuse or substitute for intimacy by those who fear control, engulfment, abandonment and loss. For some, it can adequately fill the gap of  emotional distance in an unfulfilled relationship.

To boost self-esteem and feelings of power. Infidelity allows a wayward partner to sexually assert themselves in an effort to reconstruct deeply assaulted self esteem with a “new partner” that finds them sexually desirable. As it pertains to power, hostility toward the opposite sex can be used to control and manipulate others  by rendering the other sex powerless, making them more powerful by default.

To sustain a relationship. Infidelity is seen as a way to maintain status quo and avoid dealing with conflicts that would require change in the relational environment. When one or both partners’ needs are compartmentalized from the relationship, their sexual or emotional affairs allow them to seek fulfillment elsewhere.

Not a Complete List Why Men Cheat

This list is not comprehensive, of course; there are myriad reasons we can discuss in terms of what drives and motivates sexual affairs and infidelities.  However, for now, let’s just remember that most of the time, other people’s issues are a reflection of them, not us. It’s not our job to beat ourselves up about how someone handles their discontent, either with us or with life, when things seem out of control. It’s really our job to love and support our loved ones, while recognizing their issues, and giving them an opportunity for self-growth and change – even if that change comes at the expense of our relationship with them.

Our mini-series on the Psychology of Infidelity goes into cheating and affairs into more detail. Click here to discover more reasons why men cheat.

10 Most Dangerous Mistakes Women Make With Men — Don’t Dare Do These!