Sexual Affairs and His Midlife Crisis

There are so many times when cheating seems to be about something the wife or girlfriend does or doesn’t bring to the relationship. When a woman is cheated on, it’s common for her to think it has something to do with how she looks or her sexual prowess.

Despite the fact that these might be valid concerns, most women have nothing to fear; the majority of cheating men feel very attracted and connected to their women. Usually, the reason why a man cheats is an internal issue, a personal conflict that may have some relation to his relationship with his wife or girlfriend, but truly reflects his own character.

One of the biggest reasons men cheat on their loving wives or girlfriends is to see if he’s “still got it,” that it being charm, game, and panache to pull and entice women. Most of the time, you can observe this type of infidelity during a man’s midlife crisis or other major life events.

Loss of Confidence in Men and Cheating

To understand how a midlife crisis can inspire a once devoted husband’s sexual infidelity, you have to get inside his mind. Often, as relationships stabilize and become routine, passion dies and a sense of normalcy takes over. Predictability is usually a comforting and reassuring aspect of daily life in committed relationships, but it further deadens the sense of excitement and aliveness a couple feels. When conflicts, commitments and obligations are added to the mix, some men feel all but dead and drained by what was once a sexually blissful, romantic relationship.

Men who are too immature to handle their emotions and/or poor conflicts internalize the negativity or boredom of their relationships and its related conflicts as reflections of who they’ve become. Even though most conflicts are resolved within time and the couple maintains a strong bond, insecure men can allow their confidence to nosedive with each struggle. Worried, these men wonder if they’ve become former shells of who they once were: confident, successful and charismatic men who knew how to hook a woman with passion and keep her coming back for more.

Cheating Husband Seeks to Validate Himself

Instead of recognizing that he needs to reconcile those feelings within himself, a cheating husband steps outside the marriage. His efforts to validate himself are not a means of intentionally hurting his wife or girlfriend. They’re more of his attempt to reassure himself that even though his woman’s used to him, he’s still a dashing, charismatic ladies’ man who still possesses the power to capture a woman’s attention.

When he has a sexual affair and captures the heart and attention of another woman, he does so with the intention of giving himself a pat on the back. The other woman, no matter how sexy or beautiful, in the long run is nothing but a means to an end; she’s helping him on his quest to prove his worth to himself. Once the affair is revealed and reconciled, hindsight will prove her little more than a then-needed ego boost, however temporary.

Cheating men foolishly seek out these sexual affairs an effort to prove themselves attractive and loveable in the eyes of women other than their wives and girlfriends, who they assume are just “too used to them.” Though this affair serves some purpose by invigorating cheating husbands with renewed confidence, it comes at the risk of devastating their marriages and wives’ trust. Despite what people think, it doesn’t matter why someone does it; infidelity sucks, period. Upon discovering your husband’s shocking affair, you may feel sickened. Learning that his reasons were even more selfish than suspected my have you disgusted to the core, and wondering whether this relationship is worth saving.

Affair Repair for Marital Infidelity

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Ending Marriage? Prepare for Divorce

You’re getting ready for a long awaited couples-only dinner party with your spouse. As you put the finishing touches on your outfit and reach for your keys, they stand in the doorway with the look on their face, one that signals trouble in paradise.

Caught off guard, you briefly pause and ask, “Honey, is everything okay?”

They shift their gait, loudly gulping for air. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to this party, hon.”

Brows furrowing in annoyance, you’re not interested in any silly games right now, especially seeing as you’re both dressed and ready to walk out the door. “It’s too late for that. Stop playing and get in the car.”

“No. I can’t do this,” they continue cautiously, avoiding eye contact. “I … I want a divorce.”

Your breath draws sharply. You expected any other reason from them not to go, perhaps to watch the game, or simply because they don’t feel like dinner. Yet, deep down you know better.

Deep down, you anticipated this; the day where either you or your cheating spouse would put an end to unhappy, miserable marriage and file for divorce. Still, you can’t help but feel shocked by the revelation. Truthfully speaking, this isn’t an abnormal reaction. Nobody can truly prepare themselves to acknowledge that their “relationship failed,” no matter how long they’ve been unhappy or what caused the split.

After you pick up your face from off the floor, it’s time to inform your friends of the news. While the last thing you want to do is continuously relive the experience, you do not need to be alone right now. Handling this yourself is not the best option, especially for the first 24 hours or so. Besides, informing your best buds keeps you grounded in several distinct ways.

You Can No Longer Hide from the Truth

Once you announce your pending divorce, you cannot take it back. You’re forced to live with and come to terms with the truth much quicker than if you chose to hide and deny that your marriage is over. Although it seems much more comfortable and safe to check out of life until further notice, you’ll only delay the recovery process.

Verbalizing your pain and discussing what happened begins the emotional purging process. The crying fits and wails are painfully dreadful to deal with, but now the truth has been let out and acknowledging the truth helps you remove any denials about what’s happening.

Lastly, you’ll be reminded that you’re not unloved. Your soon-to-be ex-husband or ex-wife may not want to remain married to you (or save the marriage, if you’re the one who requested it), but other people still enjoy your company and their relationship with you.

You might be joining the Divorce Society, but you’re not completely alone in your journey. Plenty of betrayed women have been in your shoes. While it’s not pleasant, you can definitely survive infidelity and divorce, and help is available! Ladies seeking “girlfriend” type advice can check out The Divorced Girls’ Society: Your Initiation into the Club You Never Thought You’d Join, an informative resource that guides you step-by-step through your pending divorce. Click the link to preview the book’s table of contents and first chapter.

Cheating to Purposely Make Someone Break Up With You

You’re not happy with your wife. You know you’re sick and tired of her, and you would really rather not be married to her much longer. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together, while hopeful at first, now throws you into a deep depression.

You feel stifled, hopeless and broken. You want to end things with her, but you know it won’t be easy. She’s going to push counseling. She’ll want to uphold religious views on marriage. She’ll cite something along the lines of, “marriage is forever,” and your families will back this sentiment.

So, instead of manning up and staying true to your desires, you devise a plan to coax her into doing the dirty work for you: you cheat on her. Cheating on your wife not only sends the message that you’re no longer interested in being faithful to her; it gives you hope that she’ll take the required steps to end the marriage and file for divorce.

Yea, you’ll look like a lying, cheating jerk to everyone who knows the both of you, but it’s the risk you’re willing to take to avoid being the one to “stir up trouble” – even though that’s exactly what you’ve done by having an affair to begin with.

If you’re the cowardly cheater, realize that your inability to end things does not make the situation any better for the person you’re cheating on. If your marriage has been damaged beyond any repair you desire to handle, then it’s time to accept your choice to let it go.

If you were cheated on, and this is how the marriage ended, accept the fact that this might have been out of your control from the moment your ex-husband felt this way. As painful as it may sound, cowardly affairs are designed to force your hand. Some people so desperately fear breaking up with the other person that they cannot just cut to the point and end things, even if that’s what they truly want. Sometimes they’re scared to take responsibility for the pain their choice would cause, and instead turn to cheating as an alternative method of communicating displeasure.

Why Do I Want to Understand His Infidelity?

There are so many reasons why people have affairs, and there are many names for these different types of affairs. When Good People Have Affairs discusses seventeen different types of affairs that people have and what motivates them. Recognizing the motives of an affair helps cheating men, betrayed women and those caught in the devastation to understand and resolve the behavior. Simply put, when you know why something happens, and how it occurs, you can take steps to prevent history from repeating itself.

Generally speaking, affairs serve several purposes for people. Even if you discover one reason as to how and why your cheating spouse’s affair occurred, it’s always wise to continue researching and looking into the matter, as it may only reveal part of the story.

Also, understanding why your lover cheated on you may clarify some things that you may have never thought about. For example, if you’ve always assumed that you were the reason he cheated, you may discover (in a somewhat bittersweet way) that it had nothing to do with you. You may instead learn that he simply wanted some variety, felt insecure about himself, had been seeking an illicit way to relieve stress, or always fantasized about having an affair. On the other hand, this may further upset you, and rightfully so, because it displays how selfish your cheating boyfriend was.

Overall, though, it’s important that you keep a clear head and an open mind when you embark on an exploration of your cheating boyfriend’s psyche. Although the discovery of his unfaithfulness is painful, aggravating and enraging, your ultimate goal should be to have a clearer understanding of how his mind thinks. Even if you do not opt to stay with him, you’ll be equipped with the clarity necessary for closure so you don’t bring this baggage into your next relationship.

To learn about seventeen types of affairs that people have and why they cheat, check out When Good People Have Affairs on Amazon.

When Your Husband’s Mistress is a Man

Sexual affairs can be extremely painful to deal with if you’re the one who’s been cheated on. It’s even worse when you discover that your husband is cheating on you with other men. Here are some tips to get yourself in order as you deal with homosexual infidelity.

1. Don’t compare yourself to this other man. The prospect of a man cheating on you with another man can be scary because, let’s face it, you feel as if you have nothing to compete with when it comes to his attraction. No woman wants to be compared to another woman at all, but at least she’s going to have all the same equipment you do. A man is a completely different story – and truth be told, it’s not worth harping over.

2. Get tested IMMEDIATELY. Not to sound homophobic or hateful, but it’s been reported that an overwhelming number of women involved with men who live on the down low have an increased risk of HIV/AIDS. It’s said that because these men feel AIDS/HIV is a “gay man’s disease” and that they’re not gay (yeah, okay!) that they’re not susceptible to the disease. Don’t take any chances with your health and run to the nearest doctor.

3. Avoid sexual activity with him. Even if he were having sex with another woman, I would still recommend this. Sexual intimacy is a gift and display of trust in a loving monogamous relationship- something you thought you had with this man. This is not about punishing him for his actions – even though that would partially suffice – it’s about making sure you decrease your exposure to whatever he’s possibly contracted during behavior.

4. Clear your head and figure out what YOU want to do. Depending on the length and seriousness of the relationship, you might find it hard to immediately come to a decision to leave him. There may be children, money, and other factors involved in your decision, and you need to ensure you’re level-headed and clear in your final decision to stay or leave.

5. Accept no excuses. Your husband may come out swinging when you confront him and try to justify his behavior. (This also goes for the ladies whose men have cheated with other women as well.) There is no excuse for cheating – a cheater cheats because he cannot be honest with his feelings and desires and, deep down, knows his behavior isn’t appropriate. Don’t second guess yourself in light of his nasty excuses.

6. Know that this too will pass. Life hands us some painful and random curveballs, some so bad we don’t know how or why we can continue living. As a friend once said, “Disguised blessings in life that offer opportunities for spiritual growth and alignment to love are often missed because they are presented as traumatic events.” Work through the pain one day at a time and you’ll eventually get past this hurdle as well.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can transform any negative situation.

The Magic Action to Help Restore Your Scarred Relationship

Throughout relationships, it is not uncommon for people to hold on to and silently grieve past hurts dealt by their loved one without extending forgiveness. Over time, resentment builds up, and, if it’s not addressed and worked through, this can lead to making either party susceptible to sexual or emotional infidelity.

Now, you may think this is a childish assumption, that many people would not make it a habit to let “the little things” get in the way of the relationship. However, the truth is that “the little things” build up hurt and resentment over time. As they get pushed back into our minds, these pains snowball into a big, nasty and even hateful situation.

Before things get too ugly and out of hand, there’s a free gift available to help you thwart the ugliness of built-up resentment known as forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the past and work through old hurts in the marriage.

Forgiveness can be difficult, but gets easier with time.

A learned skill, your ability to practice forgiveness is influenced your history of forgiveness. Think back on your previous history with forgiveness. Have you ever been deeply pained by someone who’s refused to forgive you for something you’ve done? What about someone who you may have hurt intentionally, but later deeply regret betraying? Have you ever been asked for forgiveness by people who have hurt you? Have you ever felt the heaviness of holding grudges literally seem to lift from your shoulders before?

Ask yourself if you forgive easily. People who forgive easily allow themselves the opportunity to advance past their current frame of mind and move forward without the resentment they’ve held against others.

When it comes to asking for and giving forgiveness, it will be important that you and the other party come together in agreement to work things out. The offending party is usually the party that people think should start the conversation, but the offended can start out as well, initiating the conversation with a thorough explanation of how and why they were hurt by the others’ behavior.

Should one extend an apology and request forgiveness, then the offended party should honestly answer as to whether or not they can and will forgive them. Even if the answer at the current moment is no, they let the person know that there’s a possibility that forgiveness will come in time. They can inform the other party of the changes they’ll need to see over time in order to forgive and move from there.

Now, forgiveness does not mean letting someone “get away” with what they’ve done, nor does it mean this behavior will never happen again. To the contrary, forgiveness just means that you’ve accepted that the perceived wrongs have occurred against you.

Forgiveness also means that the offending party understands how they’ve hurt you and will not repeat the behavior again with the intentions of hurting you. As expert Dave Carder writes, “Change takes time. Most of us can tolerate hurtful behavior when we see that our [loved one] is working hard at changing the pattern. To the degree you can forgive, you can build respect, and to the degree you can respect, you can build trust.”

Look At the 4 Phases of an Affair: How You Can Recognize an Affair in Progress

Dave Carder is an awesome Christian relationship author. His well-known book, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, discusses the warning signs and “close calls” that people tend to overlook when they or their spouse has an affair.

One of the topics Carder discusses in Close Calls are the relatively consistent phases of sexual affairs and infidelities. Referring to the phases as a “dangerous sequence,” he explains how things can progress from relatively harmless and innocent to horribly out of control.

According to Carder, there are four phases of close calls regarding infidelity, each one progressively more dangerous and alarming than the last.

Phase 1 is when parties experience a growing mutual attraction for one another. “Most parties don’t start out with an intention to commit adultery,” Carder explains. He states that the more individuals get to know each other, the more the attraction grows. He considers this natural, as he feels that God has instilled a sexual nature in us all. In fact, he believes denying this attraction only “intensifies” the situation, and people are led to subconsciously seek out interactions with those individuals.

Entanglement occurs in Phase 2, and involves sharing the illicit feelings with one another. Any communication with the other party becomes sexually charged and heavily anticipated, whether in person or over the phone and in emails or instant messages.

However, in some lesser aspects, entanglement may be as subtle as dropping hints regarding interest. For example, someone might tell another, “If I weren’t married/engaged/involved, I’d love an opportunity to talk to/sleep with/date/romance you.” Nevertheless, this is usually the phase at which an affair begins, and many times, the parties feel the connection was spontaneous.

Phase 3 is characterized by destabilization. If one or both parties felt their relationship went against their moral code, then there’s potential for them to attempt to stop the relationship. This on-again, off-again quality of the affair dangerously prolongs the relationship and creates unhealthy emotional attachments.

At this point, both partners may feel comfort and security by the presence of the other in their lives, even when they’re not together 24/7. They both desperately feel the need to be desired by someone else, and feel that this is something they no longer get within their primary relationships at home.

When people attempt to separate from each other post-affair and move on with their lives, they still find that they crave the others’ reassurance, and this is what draws them back. Marriages which can adopt this process – the cyclical need and pursuit of each other – can expect to see a healthy change in their relationship.

Termination and Resolution is the 4^th and final phase of an affair. Although it feels that trust and security has been built up between affair partners, maintaining the feelings of trust and safety become difficult. The artificial intimacy build by sexual relationships begins to fade and the passion wanes.

All too often, the affair partners may return to their marriage and realize that the passion they had in their affairs was exactly what was missing at home. Sometimes, they may attempt to bring that passion back to their marriages in an effort to rebuild with their partners. (Many times, experts indicate that unsually spontaneous passionate behavior like this is indeed a sign of infidelity in one’s spouse.)

Discovering that intimate details of your troubled relationship with your cheating husband or boyfriend have been shared with an outside party is one of the most devastating aspects of sexual infidelity. And not just the lovey-dovey, happy details, oh no! We’re talking the dirty, deep, dark details that you don’t even want your best friends to know about. As if this weren’t bad enough, he’s not sharing them with someone you even know or trust – but another woman he’s screwing!

Most cheating men know that they’ll have to justify their infidelity to the other woman at some point in their relationship, whether it’s in the very beginning or at the very point in which they decide to voluntarily inform them. As numerous women don’t stand for cheating, there’s a chance that most of the women he approaches brushes him off. On the other hand, there are still women who allow themselves to remain involved with such a man.

Why is this?

Simple: He justifies that they “understand him” and “you don’t.”

In his mind, anyone but his woman is understanding, compassionate and caring when it comes to his relationship and life troubles. This isn’t a completely surprising thought, but what your man fails to understand is that anyone but his wife or girlfriend lacks enough knowledge to determine whether there’s a factual basis for what he says. While he laments that you don’t “give him space” and others agree this isn’t right, they may not understand that his idea of space is disappearing for days at a time without answering the phone or simply checking in to say hello. (Nevermind that impromptu trip to Vegas.)

While you can counterargue the things he says and does, chances are the other woman doesn’t because she assumes that he knows you well enough, and wouldn’t lie on you. Remember, his angle is that he loves you unconditionally, even if you’re a stubborn woman with security issues, and just needs someone to take his mind off the problems you give him at home, because he’s the victim.

Instead of running from this red flag, the other woman will more than likely feel flattered that your man has chosen her to confide in. His lamentations build a false sense of intimacy that plays on her ego, making her further open to his advances. Besides, why would she be upset when your cheating husband’s not talking about her, but talking to her… about your shortcomings?

Should Elin Have Expected – and Accepted Tiger’s Cheating?

The recent storm of Tiger Woods’ alleged sexual affairs with as many as 11 mistresses has taken the media hostage. It seems nobody expected the PGA’s golden boy to tarnish his squeaky clean image with the possibility of one sexual infidelity, much less the multiple sexual infidelities made public within a span of days.

This all started on November 27, 2009 in the wee hours of the morning. Initial reports stated that Tiger was in a car accident with his prized Cadillac Escalade, damaging property and running into a fire hydrant. Supposedly, Elin “ran out of the house with a golf club after hearing the crash” and found Tiger unconscious with lacerations. Supposedly, innocent Mrs. Woods had no idea that her husband was entering or exiting the house, and was shocked to see him in such a peculiar situation. (Riiiiiight, tell us anything – we’ll eat it up like mother’s Sunday potroast. Not!)

Now, we (obviously) all felt the story was preposterous from the beginning, and felt a sense of vindication when Woods finally admitted to “transgressions” against his family. (Insert scoff here!) As the first mistress, Rachel Uchitel, was outed to the media, she was followed by former Tool Academy reality actress Jaimee Grubbs and 9 others whose careers range from party girls and event planners to porn stars and everyday girls next door.  

While these alleged mistresses are running their mouths and holding on to their 15 minutes of fame, Elin Nordegren – Woods has remained unusually silent about her side of the story. All we currently know is that she’s in talks to have her pre-nuptial agreement revamped to increase her payout from $20 million to over $55 million plus perks for staying with Woods.

Since we cannot get close to Mrs. Woods at the moment, we can only speculate on whether or not Elin knew this was coming. Should Elin have expected Tiger to swing his Cablinasian, Cablasian – whatever he calls himself – club on other open ranges of green? Or was she entitled to believing that he’d have kept his good-old fist pump at home?

Mixed Responses on Athletes and Infidelity

The answer is both yes and no; it varies according to whom you ask. Most people, like Chris Rock, believe that a man is only “as faithful as his options.” Tiger, being a world-renowned golfer with multi-million dollar endorsements and breaking records in history as the first Black man to takeover golf, would be a prime example of a man with an expansive list of options. After all, he’s not the first or the last powerful man, athlete, celebrity or politician to cheat on his wife: many celebrities and powerful figures have had sexual affairs.

Sports writer Jason Whitlock argues that Tiger was ensconced in a “cesspool…[and has] never portrayed himself as a religious holy roller…[eliminating any] reason for surprise about any of this.” Futhermore, Whitlock and other men rationalize that professional athletes and figures feel a sense of entitlement about having affairs; it’s a fiduciary responsibility for the celebrity to attract girls for their friends, even if they’re married, and they assert there’s usually an unspoken agreement that sexual affairs are accepted, so long as the spouse isn’t publicly humiliated by their extramarital activity. In fact, we’ve even read articles stating that Tiger Woods’ Vedic astrological chart inclines him to having sexual affairs, because he has a “porn star planetary combination” in his zodiac charts.

Those who disagree, state that Tiger, like any other man, has morals and ethics to live up to, and his celebrity status don’t supercede his moral responsibility to keep that golf club from swinging in the wrong country club.

“A man with morals, no matter who he is or how many women throw themselves at him, will not concede to have some whore in his hotel room or in his bed,” a dear friend told us.

“Why get married and make a vow of monogamy if you’re not planning to keep it? Nobody put a gun to his head and forced [Tiger] to marry [Elin]!” another lady angrily protested on a webforum.

Some of us have completely mixed feelings. As summed up perfectly by one of our editorial assistants, Elin should have expected it, but at the same time she shouldn’t have to expect it.

“Marriage usually doesn’t make provisions for athletes and powerful men to be excused for humiliating their wives. However, the truth of the matter is that society accepts it, and these women are expected to turn the other cheek and find solace in their husbands’ status and financial stability. Money doesn’t keep you warm at night, but who cares because the prevailing thought is that you’ll at least be able to afford 1500-count Italian sheets to sleep in while your husband’s cheating.”

Should I Forgive Cheating Boyfriend? He Cheated on Me Because He Was Depressed

Hi there,

I was hoping for some advice. I have been seeing my boyfriend for just over six months and our relationship was wonderful, until he lost his job. Nothing out of the ordinary happened at first. But then he started asking for very specific things in the bedroom, and asking me to dye my hair, all of which was very odd.

He finally got a job about 3 weeks ago, and the week he started, he began shutting me out. We also stopped having sex because it became awkward. I would initiate it and he wouldn’t want to or he would instruct me. It felt like nothing I did was good enough for him. Then he stopped initiating sex and said he loved me but wasn’t sure if he fancied me anymore.

I discovered two days after the last time we had sex, he contacted another woman off a dating website and had a sexual affair. He was seeing me in between and being very loving, but no sex with me. I found out last Friday because when he dumped her, she contacted me and told me everything.

I was devastated because I felt it was so out of character for him. I spent the weekend making sure he fully understands how much he has hurt me and what he’s lost. I told him not to contact me again but I am convinced that he now gets it. He’s very confused but still really misses me and wants to be back with me having realized (finally) the massive error he has made. He has emailed a couple of times and I really miss him.

My question is whether you think it would be possible in time for me to forgive him and start again? I believe he acted this way because he was depressed and had low self-esteem because when we met he was a very happy and confident person and looking back this ebbed away during the time he was unemployed. Is it possible that depression impaired his judgment, and is that enough for me to excuse, or at least move on from his behaviour eventually? I am so confused and I am going to arrange to have counseling to work through the effect it has had on me. Thanks for any advice. Debbie x

Hi Debbie!

It seems as if you dumped your boyfriend as a form of punishment, and not because you were ready to move on. With that being said, it’s important that you take the time to reflect upon whether or not you truly want to be in a relationship with him, or you simply miss him. While 6 months is not a long time to be with someone in the grand scheme of things, it is a long enough period of time to build some sense of attachment to him, especially if you guys lived together during this period. So there’s a chance you really do miss him and long for the relationship to work, but there’s also a strong possibility that you’re simply attached to him and scared to move on.

We can’t tell you not to take him back; the choice is yours in the end. But there will have to be a lot of work done, perhaps on both his and your part, in order for this to work. Our advice varies based on your ultimate choice. Read our tips for the best ways to deal with a cheating boyfriend or survive infidelity – especially since this is so fresh.

If you take him back, put him on a probationary period. When we start a new job, employers give us 30 days to a full year to prove ourselves worthy and effective to their business. Likewise, if we’ve been on a job for a period of time but violate the workplace rules, we may be given a verbal warning and a probationary period to clean up our act before we’re canned.

The truth is, while no time in a relationship can ever be “wasted,” you can use his bad boy behavior to strengthen yourself as a woman, so that he (or any other guy you may date) knows what your boundaries are. Don’t be afraid to tell him if he wants to stay with you, he’ll have to rectify his behavior. There are so many reasons men cheat, and drastic changes of life are a big motivator. His lack of employment would have been a big motivator except for the fact that he cheated when he started a new job. Therefore, that’s not an excuse.

He also stated that he did not “know if he fancied” you anymore. That, coupled with the fact that he tried to change you, sexually and in appearance, reflects something going on within him. He’s the one who needed change, not you. But instead of being able to see the need for himself to change, he chose to project it onto you – something we’re sure didn’t feel like love (and we hope you didn’t comply!).

Let him know he has 3-6 months to get his act together. Tell him what you want to see change. Do you want him to stop making you feel insecure about your appearance and sexual prowess? Let him know. Would you appreciate more quality time? Let him know. Also advise him it would be in his best interest to be upfront and honest, so that you can believe he’s ready to have an open and loving relationship. If he cannot or does not provide this in the 6 month time period, let him know it’s been fun and show him the door.

If you choose to stay single, breathe a sigh of relief and keep walking. There’s no excuse for someone to cheat on you, especially when you’re as supportive and open as you can be. 99% of the time infidelity has to do with the cheater and not the person he cheated on – whether he cheated on you, he cheated on me, or he cheated on her. Either way, kudos to you for counseling- whether you stay or not, counseling can help you fix the negative cycles you endure in your relationship and make you a better person!