Myths about Cheating

There are many myths floating around the rumor mill about the facts surrounding a creeping partner. Some people say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is this clichéd sentiment really true? Let’s reveal some truth and kill a few myths about cheating.

Myth: People cheat because there’s something wrong in the relationship.

Truth: Despite sexist generalizations, people cheat for different reasons.

One prevalent myth is that people only cheat when they are unhappy at home. This is not entirely false, but is not always true either. Women are typically said to cheat because of dissatisfaction, while men are more often said to cheat out of curiosity, or boredom.

While there are plenty of men and women who fit into these thoughts and roles, the truth is most people cheat for varying reasons. A man can cheat due to emotional dissatisfaction and a woman can cheat for sexual variety.

Myth: Men cheat more than women do.

Truth: Women are just as likely to cheat as men are.  

Another popular falsehood about cheating is that men cheat more often than women do. Truthfully speaking, women have become more independent and it has changed the way they view getting a little sugar on the side. Some women even think they deserve to have more freedom because of the high stress levels that come with combining work and family life. Others just feel, post-Sexual Revolution, that it’s their prerogative to be sexually forward with their desires and to chase them at any costs, just as men do.

Myth: Affairs are all about the sex.

Truth: Most reasons for cheating contain an element of emotional dissatisfaction- for both sexes.

Have you ever heard that affairs were purely and physical thing, and all about sex? This isn’t true either. Often times, affairs are means of emotional compensation. Some relationships, without sex are often so emotionally intimate that they are equally as inappropriate as physical trysts.

Now that we’ve gone through one of the myths, remember that there are ways you can work to reduce the likelihood of infidelity in your relationship. Maintaining a completely honest relationship will help reduce miscommunications and hurt feelings. Take time, on a regular basis, to show your partner that you appreciate them.

On a final note, if you have been feeling vulnerable or upset, or have been considering an affair, do not drink when you are in possibly tempting situations. This will help keep you from doing anything regrettable.

Starting over can help you save your marriage.

Cheating on Wife Can Put You Back At Square 1

When it comes to dealing with infidelity and cheating, many of us are aware that it can have dire consequences on a marriage or relationship. But how much of an impact is a dire impact? As our feature writer chronicles, cheating on your husband, wife or lover can literally put you at Step 1 all over again.

Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity – It is Like Starting All Over Again
By Emma Audley

Infidelity – a thrilling and adventurous escapade for many. But there is hardly any instance of an ‘affair‘ not generating pain to people concerned. But the situation is not bad all the way. More than 90% of couples, who have survived errant behaviors from a partner, confirm that it is possible for saving your marriage after infidelity!

But that still leaves the hapless 10% who may not be able to restore marital harmony again, ever. Or, even if they do survive infidelity, the restoration is only temporary; infidelity very efficiently weakens the basic foundation of marriage.

In case you are wondering whether you would succeed in saving your marriage after infidelity and whether things would get back to normal quickly – let me confess the basic truth: saving your marriage after infidelity is possible, but it is more like starting all over again. This means, that both of you have to have patience, understanding and be prepared to rebuild that lost trust brick by crick. Here are some cues for saving your marriage after infidelity taking you through the process step by step:

• Saving your marriage after infidelity essentially starts with a frank and sincere admission of guilt. This admission should never be linked to any inadequacy in the marriage which in turn is justifying the action in a way. Infidelity should be treated as a stand-alone episode, and the best way to deal with it is to de-link it from any rationale.

• This is followed by an unconditional forgiveness. This means that this episode should not ever be mentioned in your future years together. Even if memories haunt you, learn to live with it or shelve it back in the deepest crevices of your mind.

• Thereafter, saving your marriage after infidelity is a painstaking and laborious process, which goes through the usual test of trust, faithfulness and honesty. Somewhat like when you both first met. As mentioned earlier, you have to be prepared to start all over.

• It is cruel to hold the errant partner ‘guilty’ and raking up old memories can only increase the pain for all concerned. The best way to move on is to forget and forgive.

• Infidelity can be also viewed positively, if you take it as a wake-up call for both of you to take notice of the several areas of incompatibilities existing in the marriage. Saving your marriage after infidelity is possible if both of you make conscious efforts to bridge such need gaps, so that the relationship does not have to face such times again.

At the end of the day saving your marriage after infidelity can be an easier process, if there is true and sincere love and respect between the two of you. Every thing else can be taken care of.

Why is saving your marriage so important to you? Because a good marriage is one of the most treasured of human interactions. It colors everything else around us.

Visit my site at http://www.LonelinessToHappiness.com to find out how you can save your marriage and make your spouse fall in love with you again.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Emma_Audley
http://EzineArticles.com/?Saving-Your-Marriage-After-Infidelity—It-is-Like-Starting-All-Over-Again&id=3328665

If There’s No Sex, Then Why is it Infidelity?

We all know that if we sleep with someone else or kiss someone else while in a committed relationship, it is cheating.  However, there’s a lesser known, but more potent type of cheating known as emotional infidelity. It is a deep betrayal and often an incredibly painful experience for everyone involved because there are so, so many emotional bonds developed between people.

Emotional infidelity is a little finicky in its definition; not everyone believes that a person can be considered unfaithul to their boyfriend or girlfriend if no sex or physical affection is involved. However research shows that people are sometimes even more offended by an emotional affair than by a physical one, as the emotional is about a deeper connection, and there’s not a likely chance that it was a superficial relationship. Although no sex has taken place, this really is the ultimate betrayal.

Emotional Cheating is identified by a few defining characteristics. They are:

- Inappropriate levels of emotional intimacy or closeness: Deep conversations, especially about home life or spouses should always be off limits with anyone you are not married to.

- Deception: Are you sneaking out to see your special friend? Even if it’s not sex, you wouldn’t be lying about where you were going if you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong.

- Increased Arguments: A person who is connecting emotionally with someone outside of the relationship may have an unrealistic view of the third party, causing them to be frustrated and start picking fights at home.

Just like a sexual love triangle exists, an emotional triangle can develop as well. Emotional infidelity can  be too much, and you will see (and feel) the strain on the unfaithful party from trying to balance their emotions over the mess they have created, attempting to offer enough energy to both of the people they are now involved with for everyone to feel secure and happy in their relationship with said cheater.

No matter what your situation is, be advised that emotional affairs can hurt just as much as physical cheating, sometimes even more so. You need to be careful not to have intimate conversations with opposite-gender friends or co-workers, as it can lead to serious issues in your relationship. Always work on what’s going on at home before involving anyone else in your relationship. And if you feel that you may be getting too close to anyone, don’t be afraid to pull back before it’s too late.

Sexual-Emotional Affairs: The Dangerous Affair DrainingYour Relationship

Sexually and emotionally charged infidelity is the most dangerous threat there is to a relationship. This affair requires the most work to recover from; the longer it’s gone on, the more attached the affair partners are to one another. The combination infidelity is basically another relationship; the discovery of a combination sexual – emotional affair sends the levels of mistrust and pain suffered by the betrayed spouse soaring.

Many marriages suffer a drop in intimacy when an affair is underway, whether the affair has been exposed or not. However, when this gut-wrenching affair is discovered, everyone gets hurt. Not only is the betrayed spouse doubly hurt, but the cheating party suffers a great deal of emotional pain as well. You may wonder why this is, or, as a victim of this type of infidelity, you simply may not care. However, the truth is no matter who the cheater chooses to move on with, he must prepare for the grief of ending the other relationship for the sake of the person he chooses to be with.

What Makes this Affair So Dangerous to My Relationship?

What are the Reasons for Combination Sexual-Emotional Affairs?

What are Signs of this Type of Affair?

• He suddenly begins working later and taking on weekend shifts and business trips.
• She encourages you on out of town trips without them.
• He becomes more withdrawn and private, especially with access to finances and their communication devices.
• He takes on a renewed interest in his appearance, including purchasing a new wardrobe.
• He stops wearing his wedding ring.
• She insists on answering the phone, or answering calls in private. She starts texting unknown persons more.
• He begins showering excessively, especially when he walks in the door.
• You find suspicious items of clothing or notice their clothing missing.
• He becomes extremely critical of you, even mocking you.
• Getting details about where he or she is going becomes very difficult.
• She never wants to go out with you, yet claims you’re boring as an excuse to “get some fresh air” without you.
• His sexual appetite changes abruptly. Sex is either more passionate, or it’s less passionate and quicker.
• She’s using new sexual tricks on you. Something you may have wanted to try for years but she never wanted to do is now open game.
• He is more distant than usual, and appears to be going through the motions while with you.
• She becomes more difficult to reach than before, such as during work hours or after work.
• He changes the schedule, making it difficult to spend time together with you.

Can This Relationship Be Saved? This is a Complicated Situation!

Yes, this relationship can be saved, but due to the complex marriage of emotional and sexual bonding between your spouse/partner and this other person, there will be a very rocky period of adjustment. Expect to feel overwhelming emotions, especially those of betrayal, resentment and anger for having to find out the lengths the other person went to in order to keep an affair of this magnitude an ongoing event. You should also be prepared to discover both positive and negative things about your partner’s relationship with this other person that you may have never experienced in the one you have with them.

Painfully enough, you’ll learn that your spouse’s feelings cannot be turned off like a faucet. While working things out, you may he still loves her and may still wonder if he made the right decision by being with you and not her. You may also discover special things he did for her, such as buying her flowers because she likes them (yet he’s yet to bring you anything remotely sentimental), or helping her pay a phone bill when she was catching up on bills. He might have even taken her places you’ve yet to go. These details are absolutely infuriating and nothing less than heartbreaking.

We strongly and absolutely recommend outside assistance (counseling, therapy, etc.) for both parties involved in the primary relationship affected by this type of affair. Even if you speak with a trusted spiritual leader, this will be a great help to allow you to deal with this catastrophic event.

These types of affairs are usually the ones which are said to end relationships, but, for the couples who truly get to the bottom of the problems in their relationship, those problems which might have motivated an affair, this infidelity (like any other) can assist a couple in gaining a stronger relationship than the one they had before the affair occurred. But at the end of the day, it all starts with making a decision about whether or not the both of you want to save this relationship.

Cheating Men Reveal # 1 Reason for Cheating

Neuman and Oprah discuss cheating men and sexual infidelity live.

Cheating men are assumed to have sexual affairs for strictly sexual purposes. People always assume the desire for more sex, better sex, exciting sex or just having sexual variety is all most cheating men care about. The argument that men are easily visually stimulated, and can never have enough “sex” or “women” is also a frequent justification for why men stray.  “Men are just highly sexual creatures, they can never get enough, and they always want variety,” some argue. “It’s just in their nature.”

92 % Cheating Men: “Sex Not Important!”

Despite the popularity of the explanation, this assumption couldn’t be further from the truth according to M. Gary Neuman. Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It found, through independent research, that only 8 percent of philandering husbands acted from being sexually unhappy. “This means, for 92 percent of the men cheating in the United States, it’s not about sex,” explains Neuman.

Instead, Neuman’s research, which appeared on a series of episodes on Oprah,  asserts that a whopping 48 percent of men who reported having affairs were emotionally dissatisfied. Another 32 percent cited an equal amount of sexual and emotional dissatisfaction. Overall, 59 percent of cheating men felt emotionally unhappy compared to only 29 percent who were only sexually dissatisfied. Only 12 percent of men weren’t experiencing any unhappiness, or cited reasons other than sexual or emotional dissonance.

Further substantiating their claims of emotional distress, 37 percent of cheating men reported that feeling underappreciated by their wives was a major cause of their unhappiness. Another 17 percent felt “emotionally disconnected” from their woman. These two sentiments combined account for 54 percent of the problem these men felt in regards to the emotional relationship they had with their spouse, outweighing lack of communication (11 percent), no longer sharing the same values (10 percent) and having a wife that lost her temper too often (12 percent).

Neuman remarks that issues such as emotional connection and appreciation are seen as complaints only women would have, which perpetuates “the big lie” that women are “the emotional ones, whereas men are like rocks… only needing sex to be happy.”

Cheating Men: Keep Him from Becoming One

While it’s true that men are strong, they also have egos that need to be stroked; everyone does. Most men will tell you that they don’t require you to share every mushy detail and thought you have, but they would highly appreciate it if you showed them your gratitude or nurtured them through your actions on a consistent basis. Doing things like offering your husband his favorite meal every once in a while, giving him a full body massage or a foot rub, surprising him with an afternoon devoted to his desires or simply verbalizing your appreciation for a task well done are all ways that send a message that you not only notice what he does, you acknowledge and appreciate him for it.

Taking this information, try to consider times where your partner has stepped up to the plate and handled his business, and you may not have been appreciative of his efforts. Maybe he washed the kids and put them to bed, only to be met with “Honey I’ve got a headache.” Perhaps he attempted to cook breakfast, and you laughed at his awkwardness around the kitchen. These things may not be serious to you, but you never know the affect it may have had on your partner. Make an attempt to show more gratitude in how he assists you in different things. This not only boosts the sense of connectedness between the two of you, it builds intimacy and reassures your husband that he’s good enough. Remember, for most of us – cheating men included- it’s the little things that matter. Here are three  proven strategies to prevent cheating in a relationship.

Cheating Husbands, Boyfriends, Relationships Demystified

Generally speaking, cheating spouses are romantically or sexually involved with more than one person without anyone’s knowledge or consent.  Cheating is also known as sexual infidelity, adultery (if you’re married), an emotional affair, “stepping out”, creeping, or being on the downlow or DL (when discover that your partner’s “other woman” is actually a man).

Most cheaters already know their indiscretions disrespect their partner’s boundaries, thus they usually resort to great lengths to conceal their actions in order to do as they please. Cheating husbands have been known to lie or make up excuses for their behavior. Cheating boyfriends create or magnify other confilicts in order to state that their actions occurred through a troubled relationship when the truth is they were actively seeking to distract their girlfriends from their indiscretions. Even after they’ve been caught in the act, some cheaters will go as far as to deny their cheating or simply turn the argument on the partner, accusing the betrayed party of “spying on them.”

Adulterers engage in inappropriate behaviors with others break pre-established boundaries in their current relationship.  Such boundary-infringing activities can and often include passionate physical affection and sexual intercourse.

3 Cheating Spouse Categories: Sexual, Emotional, Internet

While sexual activity with someone else is the most obvious and popular example of adultery, there are several categories of infidelity, including:

Physical Cheating: Physically romantic or sexual affection to one or more women. Physical, or sexual, cheating includes hugging, kissing, spanking, nibbling, cuddling, and sexual activity ranging from heavy petting to sexual intercourse (with or without a condom).

Emotional Cheating: Sharing of intimate emotional thoughts, experiences and feelings with other women, which may allow the male to form emotional attachments to them. An emotional cheater begins to look forward to spending time with this other woman, and sex isn’t necessarily involved or required. The other women may also begin to prefer this woman to his wife or girlfriend.

Internet Cheating: Engaging in online sexual or romantic activity with other women, including sexually suggestive chatting, emails and “cybersex”. Using webcams to show body parts, dance or behave suggestively is also within the realms of internet cheating.

Different Types of Cheating Can and Do Intermix

Cheating spouse actions vary on an individual, case-by-case basis, and can involve one or more of these types of infidelity, creating a devastating combination against their primary relationship. Cheating can be a onetime incident, such as a cheating spouse having physical one night stand or a casual encounter. Or, sexual infidelity or an emotional affair can be a reoccurring series of events. A cheating husband can uphold trysts with one woman one time or several at once. There’s no one correct way to cheat.

Oftentimes, many women assume the reason a man cheats is because he’s not sexually satisfied or she’s no longer attractive. This is definitely not the case. There are as many different reasons for sexual affairs or emotional infidelities as there are different levels and types of cheating; each instance should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

What are You Thinking?

Can I Save My Relationship?

How Can I Catch My Cheating Husband or Boyfriend?

Screw Him! How Can I Find True Love?