I Wanted to End it, So I Cheated on Her
March 3, 2010 by admin
Filed under I Cheated on Her
Cheating to Purposely Make Someone Break Up With You
You’re not happy with your wife. You know you’re sick and tired of her, and you would really rather not be married to her much longer. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together, while hopeful at first, now throws you into a deep depression.
You feel stifled, hopeless and broken. You want to end things with her, but you know it won’t be easy. She’s going to push counseling. She’ll want to uphold religious views on marriage. She’ll cite something along the lines of, “marriage is forever,” and your families will back this sentiment.
So, instead of manning up and staying true to your desires, you devise a plan to coax her into doing the dirty work for you: you cheat on her. Cheating on your wife not only sends the message that you’re no longer interested in being faithful to her; it gives you hope that she’ll take the required steps to end the marriage and file for divorce.
Yea, you’ll look like a lying, cheating jerk to everyone who knows the both of you, but it’s the risk you’re willing to take to avoid being the one to “stir up trouble” – even though that’s exactly what you’ve done by having an affair to begin with.
If you’re the cowardly cheater, realize that your inability to end things does not make the situation any better for the person you’re cheating on. If your marriage has been damaged beyond any repair you desire to handle, then it’s time to accept your choice to let it go.
If you were cheated on, and this is how the marriage ended, accept the fact that this might have been out of your control from the moment your ex-husband felt this way. As painful as it may sound, cowardly affairs are designed to force your hand. Some people so desperately fear breaking up with the other person that they cannot just cut to the point and end things, even if that’s what they truly want. Sometimes they’re scared to take responsibility for the pain their choice would cause, and instead turn to cheating as an alternative method of communicating displeasure.
Why Do You Attract Cheating Men?
February 27, 2010 by admin
Filed under Cheating, Infidelity, Adultery, etc.
How Cheating Men Pick Their Women
When it comes to dealing with infidelity and the humiliation that comes with it, Brenda Stone Browder’s an expert. When her cheating husband, J.L. King, revealed the shocking truth of his sexual affairs on national television after years of denial, it took a lot of strength, patience and guidance for Browder to overcome the gut-wrenching pain of King’s unfaithfulness. (King, who has since divorced Browder, admitted that he had engaged in a series of homosexual affairs with other men while married to Browder while on a CNN special concerning down low men.)
After continuous soul searching, Browder eventually triumphed from the broken marriage, and discovered patterns that she and other women who were victims of infidelity shared. Her findings revealed that most cheating men usually gravitated towards women who regularly compromised their needs to put others first.
“You cannot lift someone else up unless you are first on steady ground,” asserts Browder, who has since published On the Up and Up. “The need to nurture and be there for you mate is natural- but not if it means you diminish yourself in the process.”
Browder generalizes that there are three types of women who are targeted by cheating men and explains why they’re so vulnerable to deception.
Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed – The Naïve Woman
This woman is the ideal woman for a cheater. She has no life experience, and has more than likely had limited interactions with men and relationships. The dating game is new to her, so she tends to trust easily. When she falls in love, she falls deeply and is romantic and devoted to her husband.
She’s so desirable to cheaters because she’s easy to deceive; a misleading, cheating husband or cheating boyfriend wants a woman that’s easily controlled and impressed. Inexperienced women can be easily trusting of partners, and tend not to question things their men do; even if she does raise concerns, it’s fairly easy for a cheater to twist the truth or manipulate her perception of things to keep her at bay.
Insecure and Self-Loathing – The Woman Who Has Low Self-Esteem
Women who don’t love themselves are extremely alluring to cheaters. A woman who doesn’t value herself is apt to make excuses for an unfaithful man’s behavior, even if he’s blatantly cheating on her. She will almost never accept that she can do better for herself in terms of finding a good man.
Overweight women are often seen in this type of situation. Oftentimes, she’ll enter a relationship overweight and just feel happy to have a man, so much so that she’ll release him of any responsibility to treat her and the relationship in a respectful manner. When he cheats or belittles her, she’ll blame her weight and appearance as an excuse to justify why he’s so cruel to her, and allow it to perpetuate her continuous cycle of self-loathing.
Other women may not be overweight, but for any number of reasons will feel as if they’ll never be able to find another man, and desperately cling to their no-good man by any means. Once a woman learns to value herself in entirety, she’ll realize that any “piece” of a man will never be enough to satisfy her as much as a fully devoted man is, giving her the strength to remove herself from a bad relationship.
She’s Got Something to Hide as Well – Making Her an Equal Accomplice
Like attracts like; women with something to hide may consciously enter into a relationship with a man she realizes is incapable or unwilling to be completely upfront with her. Whether she needs a man to provide for her, nurses an alcohol or drug addiction, or simply wants a tangible exchange out of the arrangement, such women will treat the relationship as a perfect enhancement to their lives.
Hollywood rumors are abuzz with scandals of celebrities who date or marry in order to cover the truth of their lives behind closed doors. Whether or not each and every story is truthful, the fact of the matter is these relationships are nothing more than business arrangements of the sort. Such an arrangement is fine between the two of them if they truly know what’s going on between them – after all it’s their business, and they’re purposely working to keep it concealed; both would have something to lose if the truth were revealed.
What Can I Do to Protect Myself from Being One of These Women?
First and foremost, a woman should learn to love herself enough to know when something compromises her beliefs or esteem. No man on Earth, not even George Clooney, is worth the trouble if his mode of operation includes trampling on your core values and rules for a relationship. As soon as you knuckle up and evaluate what you truly want and become self-confident, you’ll transform the dynamic between you and your cheating husband or boyfriend. Even if the dynamic ends the relationship, you’ll realize your value and determine the split was for the best, even if your heart feels irrevocably broken at the moment.
