Sandra Bullock’s Cheating Husband Jesse James Can’t Keep It Zipped For Sh*t!

2009 and 2010 must be the beginning of a new era of boldly wild celebrity sex scandals. First, there were Tiger Woods’ crazy sexual affairs with a harem of whores, including an extra special one who wanted a personal apology from Woods himself (keep dreaming slut!). Of course, Woods, who admitted to feeling “entitled to cheat,” has since apologized- but only to his wife and the public. Though he’s not completely out of the woods just yet, but he’s been blindsided by an even more impressive scandal – Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. (All cheesy puns totally intended!)

2010 had been a good year so far for Bullock. After receiving several Oscar nominations for her pivotal role in feel-good movie The Blind Side, Bullock, 45, won for Best Actress. Set to hit the red carpet for the British premiere of The Blind Side, PR reps cancelled her arrival “due to unforeseen circumstances.” It was later revealed those unforeseen circumstances were the discovery of husband James’ 11-month sexual affair with trashy tattoo model Michelle McGee while Bullock was filming The Blind Side.

As if this crazy mess wasn’t already interesting enough, photos of McGee in a lewd, overtly sexual Neo-Nazi spread surfaced days later, further tarnishing the couple’s image by association. James’ exes have also come forward, revealing that this isn’t the first – or the last – time he’s cheated on his woman. And to date, at least three more women have surfaced with juicy claims that they too have had a roll in the hay with James, 40, during his five year marriage to Bullock.

Bullock’s Previous Infidelity Experiences

During an Entertainment Tonight interview, Bullock previously revealed that she had been cheated on, and admitted to having cheated herself. Having learned from that experience, she was as saying, “It was the stupidest thing I ever did. You take away respect from the other person. If you respect the other person enough and you are an honorable person, before it gets to that point, you say, ‘Hey listen, I’m getting ready to screw up and I know you’re going to leave’ and you give the person the right to walk.”

Ironically, Bullock called Tiger Woods’ wife Elin’s behavior during his sex scandal “respectable,” adding that she’d have kept hitting Woods and got “everything out.”

Since the scandals broke, Bullock hasn’t been heard from. We can only imagine how crushed and upset the situation is, especially considering how the whole affair almost completely overshadows one of her crowning career achievements. If she’s holding true to her words, she’s probably too busy putting her batting practice to good use.

Get ‘em Sandy!

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Why Do I Want to Understand His Infidelity?

There are so many reasons why people have affairs, and there are many names for these different types of affairs. When Good People Have Affairs discusses seventeen different types of affairs that people have and what motivates them. Recognizing the motives of an affair helps cheating men, betrayed women and those caught in the devastation to understand and resolve the behavior. Simply put, when you know why something happens, and how it occurs, you can take steps to prevent history from repeating itself.

Generally speaking, affairs serve several purposes for people. Even if you discover one reason as to how and why your cheating spouse’s affair occurred, it’s always wise to continue researching and looking into the matter, as it may only reveal part of the story.

Also, understanding why your lover cheated on you may clarify some things that you may have never thought about. For example, if you’ve always assumed that you were the reason he cheated, you may discover (in a somewhat bittersweet way) that it had nothing to do with you. You may instead learn that he simply wanted some variety, felt insecure about himself, had been seeking an illicit way to relieve stress, or always fantasized about having an affair. On the other hand, this may further upset you, and rightfully so, because it displays how selfish your cheating boyfriend was.

Overall, though, it’s important that you keep a clear head and an open mind when you embark on an exploration of your cheating boyfriend’s psyche. Although the discovery of his unfaithfulness is painful, aggravating and enraging, your ultimate goal should be to have a clearer understanding of how his mind thinks. Even if you do not opt to stay with him, you’ll be equipped with the clarity necessary for closure so you don’t bring this baggage into your next relationship.

To learn about seventeen types of affairs that people have and why they cheat, check out When Good People Have Affairs on Amazon.

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Defining Infidelity – Is it Only for Married Couples?

There are so many discussons on what it means to cheat, as well as what, specifically, cheating is.

As explained by Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D., infidelity is the “breaking of trust.” In his book, Infidelity: A Survival Guide, Lusterman states, “Infidelity occurs when one partner in a relationship continues to believe that the agreement to be faithful I still in force, while the other is secretly violating it.”

Now, many people reason that the only relationship worthy of fidelity and faithfulness is marriage. After all, when you marry someone you’re making a public commitment to them; marriage isn’t only a public commitment, it’s a legally binding one that can only be dissolved through death or divorce. Other relationships can be long-term and monogamous, but there are no legal obligations for participating parties to remain steadily involved.

This type of rationalization makes a lot of sense for most people; why treat your relationship like a written contract when there’s nothing but a verbal agreement?

At the end of the day, however, this argument is still not enough to excuse infidelity within a committed relationship. Not every relationship will be legally entitled to marriage, but as long as both parties made an exclusive agreement to remain faithful to one another, then there’s an expectation for this agreement to be honored.

Therefore, if you’re going to talk the talk – and commit yourself to somebody exclusively – then you need to walk the walk and do what’s necessary to adhere to that commitment. A commitment to monogamy is a serious one that deserves respect, regardless of it’s legally respected or not. Using the fact that you’re not married to downplay infidelity is not only crass, but shows you’re not an honorable individual, especially where it matters most.

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The Darkest Lie (Hqn)

Cheating on Wife Can Put You Back At Square 1

When it comes to dealing with infidelity and cheating, many of us are aware that it can have dire consequences on a marriage or relationship. But how much of an impact is a dire impact? As our feature writer chronicles, cheating on your husband, wife or lover can literally put you at Step 1 all over again.

Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity – It is Like Starting All Over Again
By Emma Audley

Infidelity – a thrilling and adventurous escapade for many. But there is hardly any instance of an ‘affair’ not generating pain to people concerned. But the situation is not bad all the way. More than 90% of couples, who have survived errant behaviors from a partner, confirm that it is possible for saving your marriage after infidelity!

But that still leaves the hapless 10% who may not be able to restore marital harmony again, ever. Or, even if they do survive infidelity, the restoration is only temporary; infidelity very efficiently weakens the basic foundation of marriage.

In case you are wondering whether you would succeed in saving your marriage after infidelity and whether things would get back to normal quickly – let me confess the basic truth: saving your marriage after infidelity is possible, but it is more like starting all over again. This means, that both of you have to have patience, understanding and be prepared to rebuild that lost trust brick by crick. Here are some cues for saving your marriage after infidelity taking you through the process step by step:

• Saving your marriage after infidelity essentially starts with a frank and sincere admission of guilt. This admission should never be linked to any inadequacy in the marriage which in turn is justifying the action in a way. Infidelity should be treated as a stand-alone episode, and the best way to deal with it is to de-link it from any rationale.

• This is followed by an unconditional forgiveness. This means that this episode should not ever be mentioned in your future years together. Even if memories haunt you, learn to live with it or shelve it back in the deepest crevices of your mind.

• Thereafter, saving your marriage after infidelity is a painstaking and laborious process, which goes through the usual test of trust, faithfulness and honesty. Somewhat like when you both first met. As mentioned earlier, you have to be prepared to start all over.

• It is cruel to hold the errant partner ‘guilty’ and raking up old memories can only increase the pain for all concerned. The best way to move on is to forget and forgive.

• Infidelity can be also viewed positively, if you take it as a wake-up call for both of you to take notice of the several areas of incompatibilities existing in the marriage. Saving your marriage after infidelity is possible if both of you make conscious efforts to bridge such need gaps, so that the relationship does not have to face such times again.

At the end of the day saving your marriage after infidelity can be an easier process, if there is true and sincere love and respect between the two of you. Every thing else can be taken care of.

Why is saving your marriage so important to you? Because a good marriage is one of the most treasured of human interactions. It colors everything else around us.

Visit my site at http://www.LonelinessToHappiness.com to find out how you can save your marriage and make your spouse fall in love with you again.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Emma_Audley
http://EzineArticles.com/?Saving-Your-Marriage-After-Infidelity—It-is-Like-Starting-All-Over-Again&id=3328665

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Unfaithful: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

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The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 1: Shock and Circumstance

Should Elin Have Expected Tiger to Cheat?

The recent storm of Tiger Woods’ alleged sexual affairs with as many as 11 mistresses has taken the media hostage. It seems nobody expected the PGA’s golden boy to tarnish his squeaky clean image with the possibility of one sexual infidelity, much less the multiple sexual infidelities made public within a span of days.

This all started on November 27, 2009 in the wee hours of the morning. Initial reports stated that Tiger was in a car accident with his prized Cadillac Escalade, damaging property and running into a fire hydrant. Supposedly, Elin “ran out of the house with a golf club after hearing the crash” and found Tiger unconscious with lacerations. Supposedly, innocent Mrs. Woods had no idea that her husband was entering or exiting the house, and was shocked to see him in such a peculiar situation. (Riiiiiight, tell us anything – we’ll eat it up like mother’s Sunday potroast. Not!)

Now, we (obviously) all felt the story was preposterous from the beginning, and felt a sense of vindication when Woods finally admitted to “transgressions” against his family. (Insert scoff here!) As the first mistress, Rachel Uchitel, was outed to the media, she was followed by former Tool Academy reality actress Jaimee Grubbs and 9 others whose careers range from party girls and event planners to porn stars and everyday girls next door.  

While these alleged mistresses are running their mouths and holding on to their 15 minutes of fame, Elin Nordegren – Woods has remained unusually silent about her side of the story. All we currently know is that she’s in talks to have her pre-nuptial agreement revamped to increase her payout from $20 million to over $55 million plus perks for staying with Woods.

Since we cannot get close to Mrs. Woods at the moment, we can only speculate on whether or not Elin knew this was coming. Should Elin have expected Tiger to swing his Cablinasian, Cablasian – whatever he calls himself – club on other open ranges of green? Or was she entitled to believing that he’d have kept his good-old fist pump at home?

Mixed Responses on Athletes and Infidelity

The answer is both yes and no; it varies according to whom you ask. Most people, like Chris Rock, believe that a man is only “as faithful as his options.” Tiger, being a world-renowned golfer with multi-million dollar endorsements and breaking records in history as the first Black man to takeover golf, would be a prime example of a man with an expansive list of options. After all, he’s not the first or the last powerful man, athlete, celebrity or politician to cheat on his wife: many celebrities and powerful figures have had sexual affairs.

Sports writer Jason Whitlock argues that Tiger was ensconced in a “cesspool…[and has] never portrayed himself as a religious holy roller…[eliminating any] reason for surprise about any of this.” Futhermore, Whitlock and other men rationalize that professional athletes and figures feel a sense of entitlement about having affairs; it’s a fiduciary responsibility for the celebrity to attract girls for their friends, even if they’re married, and they assert there’s usually an unspoken agreement that sexual affairs are accepted, so long as the spouse isn’t publicly humiliated by their extramarital activity. In fact, we’ve even read articles stating that Tiger Woods’ Vedic astrological chart inclines him to having sexual affairs, because he has a “porn star planetary combination” in his zodiac charts.

Those who disagree, state that Tiger, like any other man, has morals and ethics to live up to, and his celebrity status don’t supercede his moral responsibility to keep that golf club from swinging in the wrong country club.

“A man with morals, no matter who he is or how many women throw themselves at him, will not concede to have some whore in his hotel room or in his bed,” a dear friend told us.

“Why get married and make a vow of monogamy if you’re not planning to keep it? Nobody put a gun to his head and forced [Tiger] to marry [Elin]!” another lady angrily protested on a webforum.

Some of us have completely mixed feelings. As summed up perfectly by one of our editorial assistants, Elin should have expected it, but at the same time she shouldn’t have to expect it.

“Marriage usually doesn’t make provisions for athletes and powerful men to be excused for humiliating their wives. However, the truth of the matter is that society accepts it, and these women are expected to turn the other cheek and find solace in their husbands’ status and financial stability. Money doesn’t keep you warm at night, but who cares because the prevailing thought is that you’ll at least be able to afford 1500-count Italian sheets to sleep in while your husband’s cheating.”

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Emotional Acceptance: The Most Important Aspect of Healing from His Affair

Throughout the discovery of your lover’s affair, you may fight to resist the truth. You may refuse to believe they cheated on you, deceived you and lied to you. “How could this happen?! No, it didn’t happen… not to me, I’m too good for this!” you may think.

Emotional acceptance is an important part of recovering from an affair, or any other traumatizing situation in life. When you have emotional acceptance, you give yourself the ability to stop fighting and resisting what’s happened on an emotional level. You become less emotionally reactive and accept what’s happened without the overt, painful dramatics. Emotional acceptance aligns you with reality, allowing you to see your husband’s cheating for what it is and helping you decide what to do next.

Emotional Acceptance Is Not Passivity or Tolerance of Infidelity

A striking example of example of emotional acceptance is dealing with the death of a loved one. When someone you love dies- a dear friend or beloved pet- it’s hard to accept what happened initially. You don’t want to hear that everything will be okay and you don’t want to believe this person is dead and never coming back. You’re consumed with grief and have little-to-no control over your emotional reaction when the news first hits. The pain lives within you for a long time, but decreases its affects on your daily living over time. Eventually, while you still love and miss the person, you’re now able to fully accept and embrace their passing. At this point, you’ve stopped resisting what’s happened and emotionally accepted it.

When it comes to emotionally accepting an affair, the process will be very similar. You will have to ride it out and accept that your husband did cheat on you. You will have to accept that things in your marriage were not going as expected. You will have to accept that your cheating husband did lie to you about his sexual or emotional affair, and that he did so willingly for a period of time, in an effort to conceal his extramarital trysts.

Clearly speaking, emotional acceptance does not mean what he’s done is okay. Emotional acceptance simply allows you to find peace within the storm. Emotional acceptance is not tolerance; his cheating on you doesn’t have to be right as long as you accept it happened. When you emotionally accept a situation, you’re not rewarding poor behavior and it doesn’t stop you from making his life difficult. You don’t minimize what was done when you accept his cheating; in fact, you must see it for what it is in its full glory. And emotionally accepting your husband’s cheating does not denote passivity and mean you do nothing, but allows you to move forward with confidence in yourself to make the most of this situation.

This information was adapted from Paul Coleman’s You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life. If this information helped you, consider purchasing Coleman’s book for more insightful information.

Related Reading:

The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 1: Shock and Circumstance

The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. The Complete Set of 9 Workbooks.

The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 7: Create Peace and Harmony.

Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-proof Your Marriage

The Dance of Restoration: Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity

“My Husband Won’t Give Me The Sexual Details of His Affair”

You need to know all the explicit details of your man’s sexual affair. You demand specifics of what, how, where and when he and the other woman engaged in sexual activity, convinced that the reality cannot be as scandalous as your imagination makes it. Unfortunately, he refuses to give you the dirt, frustrating you further and driving a wedge between you two, and playing on your emotions.

Honestly speaking, most of the time, we don’t want the sexually explicit details because they’ll bring closure to the sexual affair. Instead, we want them because the affair plays on our physical and sexual insecurities. We want to know whether his mistress was a sultry vixen who was better looking than us (and hope she isn’t). We want to know whether her breasts were perkier, if her ass is tighter and whether she makes him cum harder (and hope that they aren’t and that she doesn’t).

Therefore, it’s safe to say that the need to know sexual details can be an attempt to answer a different question. Paul Coleman, PsyD and author of You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life
, urges those battling with strong emotions concerning their partner’s sexual infidelity and the specific acts therein to consider the following questions:

“Am I attractive and appealing enough sexually to him (and others)?”

“Am I mostly bothered by the fact that he doesn’t want to tell me details (he’s being secretive again) than I am about the need to know the details?”

“Do I feel out of control when I don’t have answers – any answers – so I must keep harping on an issue even if it’s to my detriment to do so?”

If you discover in your reflections that one of the aforementioned reasons influences your need to press for sexual details, then knowing the specifics will not assist you. Instead, Coleman urges you to discover different methods to investigate those issues.

On the other hand, if you truly believe knowing all the nasty details, then Coleman suggests you “choose your questions carefully, [starting] with something less provocative and work your way up.” He adds that it’s wise to stop the discussion when you realize you’re getting answers you’d rather not have heard. Be assured that you’re ready for this information, because you’ll more than likely feel worse when he confirms they’ve performed oral sex on one another, or tried an intimate act he’s never initiated with you. Confirming this information is not only painful, but will insert graphic images into your brain which only extend the pain you’ll feel. At the same time, you must remember not to punish him for telling you the truth. Yes, it hurts like hell, but you asked for it.

Overall, our hope is that you’ll at least decide to wait a while before pushing for the answers to these questions. Give it several months, and then revisit this situation to see whether or not you still want these questions answered. Most likely, you won’t and will realize you’re better off not knowing.

If you feel this advice was helpful, we suggest that you check out You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life and consider reading it for more insightful information that can help you save your marriage from sexual infidelity today.

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Unfaithful: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

Talk to Your Cheating Husband About His Affair

On the road to recovery from infidelity, whether a sexual affair, emotional affair or a combination of both, there will be a lot of words exchanged about what happened. You’ll definitely ask your husband questions about his sexual affairs, the other woman (or women) and even confront him about how sincere he is about making your marriage work.

This week, we’re going to introduce a 10-part blog series on several very common conversations that women like you have with their cheating husbands. These conversations dealing with infidelity aren’t always directly about their cheating spouses’ infidelities, but are indirectly created in response to events indirectly affected by their indiscretions.

These conversations discuss a wide range of topics, including how to deal with a husband who feels he doesn’t need to repeatedly apologize about his affair with another woman, handling your emotional upheavals when affairs are celebrated all over TV, and dealing with children acting out when they discover trouble between their parents.

Our hope, and suggestions are mildly adapted from Paul Coleman’s You, Him and The Other Woman’s chapter entitled “Ten Conversations You’re Almost Guaranteed to Have.” If you enjoy what you read during this series, we strongly encourage you to check out Coleman’s book in our Amazon store. Coleman’s book is an excellent point of reference for any woman (or man) seeking to confront, forgive and deal with their cheating spouse’s affair. Each link will be updated as the posts are released daily.

Feel free to comment or reply to this post – we’d love to hear your thoughts.

Infidelity Conversation 1: He Doesn’t Apologize Enough for Cheating On Me

Infidelity Conversation 2: He Witheld More Secrets from His Sexual Affair

Infidelity Conversation 3: I Want to Know Sexually Explicit Details, but He Won’t Tell Me!

Infidelity Conversation 4: His Infidelity and Our Fighting is Affecting the Children

Infidelity Conversation 5: All I Talk About is His Affair; He Never Mentions It

Infidelity Conversation 6: He Cheated, Wants Me to “Get Over It” Already

Infidelity Conversation 7: The Other Woman Still Tries To Seduce Him, I Hate that Bitch!

Infidelity Conversation 8: Our Families Know He Cheated, He’s Scared to Visit My In-Laws Again

Infidelity Conversation 9: Everywhere I Look, I’m Reminded of His Sexual Affair!

Infidelity Conversation 10: Husband Tries Being Romantic but His Cheating Killed My Sex Drive

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The Rescue You Program: How To Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 4: Face Your Fears.

Life After Betrayal: A Practical Guide (The 10-Step Empowerment Series)

Unfaithful: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

The Dance of Restoration: Rebuilding a Marriage after Infidelity

The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 1: Shock and Circumstance

How To Forgive Your Husband’s Cheating

 A cheating spouse can be the most painful thing a marriage experiences.  You feel betrayed and confused. You are so hurt and angry. For some people, acts of infidelity signal the end of a relationship; in their minds, infidelity and divorce go hand in hand.

 If one or both of the persons cannot move on from the indiscretion, it is usually best to let the relationship go. However, if you do decide that the two of you can work things out, forgiveness is one of the most important things for you to work on.

While restoring intimacy and openness are important, your marriage will not survive infidelity if you cannot forgive. But let’s be clear: forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It does not mean that you have to pretend it never happened. It does, however, mean that you cannot use your husband’s infidelity as a weapon. His sexual love affair cannot come up in random conversations years down the line. Talk about his affair. Talk about his feelings during the affair, both about the marriage and the other woman. Work through his infidelity. Express yourself honestly and respectfully. Truly listen to what your partner has to say, and require that your apologetic husband do the same.

 If you are having an especially difficult time forgiving your partner for their cheating, try examining which aspect of the situation bothers you the most. What part of your husband cheating cuts the deepest? The fact that he was sexually involved with another woman? The other woman’s looks? The fact that he lied to you when he cheated? Be honest with yourself.  Then, sit down and have a conversation about just this aspect. That might help you to clear some things up a bit.

Still can’t get past the pain?

Seek out a couple’s counselor if you think it will help. You may even find that you will see great results from individual therapy, because it will help to have someone who is completely open to listening, while you freely discuss your confusion.  Forgiving an affair is difficult;  it may be the most difficult thing you will ever do. However, it is not impossible. Work hard, love each other, be completely honest, and try to get back to that good place. You may even discover the affair actually saves your marriage.

Related Reading:

Life After Betrayal: A Practical Guide (The 10-Step Empowerment Series)

The Rescue You Program: How To Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 4: Face Your Fears.

Unfaithful: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity

The Rescue You Program: How to Improve Your Life and Reinvent Your Love after an Affair. Workbook 7: Create Peace and Harmony.