Confronting the Other Woman in Infidelity
- Mel Gibson’s other woman, Oksana Pochepa, was seen having a rendezvous with the actor prior to his divorce papers being filed.
Oftentimes, when we think of our man with another woman, we become obsessed with her. Who is she? What does she look like? Are her boobs perkier than ours? Is she sexier, sweeter, skinnier, prettier or more feminine or exotic than us? What does she have that we don’t?
Right now, you’re probably asking yourself (and your cheating man) all of these questions and then some. You may find that he either denies anything you infer about her superiority to you (and he should, if he wants to live to see tomorrow), or simply refuses to answer, leading you to want to “find out for yourself.”
Confronting the other woman, whether by phone, email or in person, is something many of us think about doing, especially once we realize that she exists. We might hate her, and all her perceived imperfectness (after all, she’s not up to our standards), but for some, this seething emotion will go into overdrive when it’s discovered that she not only knew he was involved, but simply didn’t care.
For those who want to meet or confront the other woman, it’s important to understand she’s not who you’re in a relationship with. Get past the idea of who’s prettier, sexier, better in bed or the best cook, and realize that it’s Mr. Two-Timer who needs to be addressed.
Now don’t get us wrong, meeting this other woman can provide you a small sense of closure, especially if she gives you the answers your husband wouldn’t (like where he really was when he was “working late”). Yet, before speaking with her, truly examine your reasons for wanting to do so. Wanting to “kick her ass,” intimidate her or unleash your wrath upon her is an understandable reaction, but might only make things worse. On the other hand, exercising restraint and befriending her to assemble the missing pieces of your husband’s puzzling affair can also prove a valuable tool – as long as you can handle the truth.
You can always decide to leave well enough alone, remembering that even though it hurts like hell, the other woman is not responsible for your boyfriend cheating on you. Even if she did her best to seduce him, your man made deliberate decisions to engage in a relationship with this woman while breaking his vow of fidelity to you. There are only two people in your relationship; the other woman is not one of them. Even if she continues trying to persuade your boyfriend or husband to see her, you must focus the bulk of your energy on him, and not her.
