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How To Forgive Your Husband’s Cheating
Your husband cheating, or anyone’s spouse cheating can be the most painful thing a marriage experiences. You feel betrayed and confused. You are so hurt and angry. For some people, acts of infidelity signal the end of a relationship; in their minds, infidelity and divorce go hand in hand.
If one or both of the persons cannot move on from the indiscretion, it is usually best to let the relationship go. However, if you do decide that the two of you can work things out, forgiveness is one of the most important things for you to work on.
While restoring intimacy and openness are important, your marriage will not survive infidelity if you cannot forgive. But let’s be clear: forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It does not mean that you have to pretend it never happened. It does, however, mean that you cannot use your husband’s infidelity as a weapon. His sexual love affair cannot come up in random conversations years down the line. Talk about his affair. Talk about his feelings during the affair, both about the marriage and the other woman. Work through his infidelity. Express yourself honestly and respectfully. Truly listen to what your partner has to say, and require that your apologetic husband do the same.
If you are having an especially difficult time forgiving your partner for their cheating, try examining which aspect of the situation bothers you the most. What part of your husband cheating cuts the deepest? The fact that he was sexually involved with another woman? The other woman’s looks? The fact that he lied to you when he cheated? Be honest with yourself. Then, sit down and have a conversation about just this aspect. That might help you to clear some things up a bit.
Still can’t get past the pain?
Seek out a marriage counselor if you think it will help. You may even find that you will see great results from individual therapy, because it will help to have someone who is completely open to listening, while you freely discuss your confusion. Forgiving an affair is difficult; it may be the most difficult thing you will ever do. However, it is not impossible. Work hard, love each other, be completely honest, and try to get back to that good place. You may even discover your cheating husband’s affair actually saves your marriage.
