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Constantly Reminded of Husband’s Love Affair by TV, Movies and Celebrity Scandals
You two are on the couch or at the movies when one of the characters has a sexual affair with her lover while her devoted fiancé is out of town, or you read the latest celebrity gossip and discover another rock star having an illicit affair. You’re instantly triggered to think about your husband’s cheating and the effect it has on you. “Dammit, everyone’s having an affair these days, huh?”
There’s no doubt about it, the entertainment business loves infidelity scandals for ratings and attention, and nothing serves up scandal quite like an affair. Unfortunately, one person’s juicy buzz is your painful trigger about the hell you went through dealing with infidelity. These moments will spring up on you when you least expect it, and linger no matter how much you tell yourself to ignore it.
If your cheating husband is there, he may freeze up, or seem unsupportive when he also tells you not to let it get to you when you mention it. Easy for you to say, you think, remembering all the crushing details as they press down upon your heart while you get the beginnings of a migraine. If you’re emotionally triggered, his behavior and the movie can easily push you to become confrontational.
Ideally, your husband’s response wouldn’t be so frozen; he’d understand exactly what you’re going through and respond in a kind, loving manner that would put you at ease, especially since he knows he’s part of the reason you’re feeling so low. But he can’t – his head-in-the-sand approach is his way of staying out of hot water since he doesn’t know how to handle this situation.
Don’t be afraid to tell your husband exactly what you need him to do during these awkward and rough moments, especially since he’s too afraid to take chances and guess. If you need him to silently comfort you with a hug and a kiss, tell him. If you need him to reassure you of his renewed promise of faithfulness and commitment, then do so as well. He can’t help you if you don’t teach him how to. After all, he did participate in a sexual affair, and needs to help reassure you when these things happen – as long as you’re willing to work past this as well.
