The “New Information About the Affair” Conversation
Weeks after you discover your cheating husband’s affair, you discover new information he previously lied about, didn’t mention before or otherwise unintentionally stumbles over during an explanation. Maybe he reveals a certain detail about where he took her out to lunch, or mentions buying her a gift when he told you he never did.
This conversation throws you for a loop and your already diminished trust in him nosedives. You are jus discovering his infidelity, and the details of it, but obviously he’s still hiding things or not giving you the whole truth about his love affair and the other woman, leaving you to wonder what else he’s hiding and whether you’ll be able to trust him to provide it.
More than likely, this revelation will fire off a new series of conversations where you continuously scrape over the details you’ve previously discussed several times before in an effort to test his consistency. While this might help your interrogation skills, keep things in perspective. Something small that doesn’t change your goals for saving your marriage cannot rock the boat of the progress you’re making, so unless it’s earth-shattering, limit your focus on the information to no more than a couple of days.
Your best method of handling this is to flip your anxiousness on your cheating husband or cheating boyfriend. By displaying how anxious you are about his sexual affair or emotional cheating, you’re subconsciously giving him cues that you are highly invested in this relationship – possibly moreso than he is.
When you discover this new information, compose yourself and tell him, “I’m glad you revealed this insight to me, but my trust in you has gone down. I need for you to be completely honest with me if we’re going to save this marriage, and make things right between us. If I cannot get to a point where I cannot significantly trust you more than I already do, our relationship is in trouble.”
Revealing your position in such a manner will allow yourself to confirm if he’s truly sorry for his infidelity and wants to work things out. A sincere guy will come clean with whatever else there’s left to reveal, and this is your opportunity to work on it. If, on the other hand, he continues to drop bombshells after you’ve placed your stance on the line, his truthfulness is obviously in question.