sexual affairs emotional infidelity
You cheated on your wife, screwed up severely and want to come clean. The problem is she discovers your sexual infidelities before you even get the nerve to speak to her. Either way, you have a lot of explaining to do do, so here's a primer on getting her to listen to you.
Confess your indiscretions. Telling her about your sexual affair will be very difficult. Chances are she'll be more than a little upset, and there's really no way to prepare for her backlash. However, if you tell her and admit to screwing up, there's a slight chance she'll be willing to hear you out.
Tell her where you stand- or at least where you'd like to stand. Choose whether or not to work it out. You both need to sit down and determine how you feel about the strength of the relationship and the chance of it surviving this painful blow. Be advised though, the ball is now in her court, especially if she decides to stay.
Forgive yourself. We know it sounds a little bit cliché, but it is a necessary step for the healing process. You are flawed as a human, and we all make mistakes. Don’t spend your time beating yourself up, because it won’t help anyone. At the same time, don’t let yourself completely off the hook either. You have to man up and take responsibility for your infidelity.
Show her that you care. At this point in time, actions speak louder than words… and you’ll already need a lot of action to get a fraction of the leverage you previously had prior to this indiscretion. Take time to show your betrayed spouse that she is still special to you. Don’t try to buy her trust back, but really pay attention to what she says she wants, and try to overdeliver on it.
A relationship ravaged by infidelity will take time to repair if it can be fixed at all, but if you manage to save your marriage, it will be well worth it in the end. Rub your hands together, take a deep breath, and get real with her. She’s ready for you to tell the truth… and deep down, so are you.
