Your Best Friend’s Heartbroken From Sexual Infidelity…
Tragedies are the true tests of friendship. Death, terminal illness, the loss of an appendage; these are all examples of life-changing events which might require you handle your bestie with kid gloves.
The same holds true when your best friend reveals they’ve been cheated on and is still hopelessly in love with the culprit. You may have always known this was going to happen, or might have never seen it coming, but now you have another real crisis on your hands.
Having turned to you for support, your best friend not only wants your attention, but they need your help in order to deal with this startling crisis. They don’t know whether they can rebuild their love life after sexual infidelity but they need you right now. Act quickly and refer to these 4 tips to provide immediate support:
Avoid “I Told You So”
Yes, you knew your frat brother’s girlfriend was a nagging and insecure tramp with a history that rivaled Wilt Chamberlain. Regardless, now is not the time to remind him of the times you told him she was no good. He’s still obviously in love with her, so these reminders will only trigger unnecessary emotional outbursts, and makes you seem like an uncaring, arrogant douchebag. Put yourself in his shoes, and refrain from rubbing it in.
Interrogate Her Later
Despite the fact that she’s just laid the discovery of her fiance’s affair weeks before the wedding, don’t ask too many questions. Yes, you want to know what type of affair he’s having and who the other woman is, but what’s important NOW is that you know why she’s upset, and she’s opening up to you. Chances are, she’s not ready to come forward with the news, and she told you first. Assume she trusts you to listen first, and ask questions after things have calmed down and she appears ready and willing to answer.
If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…
… Then obviously now is not the time to say it. Whether it refers to your best friend’s negative dating history, the belief that she needs to just suck it up and get over him, or the fact that you never liked the way he said the word “hippopotamus,” just avoid making any negative comments or suggestions on the cheater. Remember she’s still in love with him, so even if she calls him a stink-footed, warty-faced bastard, joining in with her will only make her defensive.
Know Your Role Jabroni
- Listen
- Empathize
- Offer to listen and empathize some more
- Offer other services which may help her – babysitting, staying over, etc.
- Repeat steps 1 – 3 when all else fails.
