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My Girlfriend Cheated – Sexist Double Standards to Blame?
Women have bitched and moaned about the pains of double standards in the dating game for eons. Your girlfriend is no exception; every time you watch Entourage, she routinely reminds you that Vince’s man-whore exploits are only cool “because he has a penis.”
Honestly, you don’t care about your woman’s psychological torment as it concerns her need to feel sexually equal to you and the fellas. While it’s true that she’s free to get out there and spread her legs wings as she chooses, you’re aware others might judge her for it, yourself included. You don’t want to claim any woman who proudly boasts a bed notch count that unabashedly runs circles around yours. Either way, that’s not your problem, because sexual double standards don’t affect you anyway.
Well, you’re wrong. Very wrong.
Even if you don’t suffer a direct bite to the gonads, double standards can still impact your relationship. While the most commonly known result pertains to your girlfriend’s unwillingness to try that super freaky position you saw in a porno, it’s far from the worst possibility. Under the radar, double standards create a nasty infidelity issue – something that would actually qualify her for the ultimate slut label.
Women who enter into relationships feeling slighted by lack of sexual experience may cheat on the side to acquire it. This might not happen immediately, but it can happen down the line as the relationship progresses. Sometimes you might have something to do with it, and other times, she’s looking to “complete” her portfolio. Here are some examples.
Her Lack of Sexual Experience Left You Unhappy
Sonja knew she was highly inexperienced when she met Mike, and worked hard to improve her skills. Although they seemed to have improved after a few months, Sonja was surprised to overhear Mike complain to his friends that her blowjobs were still horrific. Shocked and resentful of Mike’s confession, Sonja decided kill two birds with one stone. She started to practice her oral techniques on a fellow she met on Craigslist, both to improve her skills and get back at her loose-lipped boyfriend.
She Wants to Up Her Numbers, Hoping it Improves Her Confidence
Most women won’t have pissing contests with each other about the number of guys they can bang. Men, on the other hand, do. But, when a man and his woman discuss sexual partners and experiences, it’s a potential recipe for disaster if she feels she hasn’t “experienced” enough men in comparison to him. The insecurity further intensifies if she discovers he’s enjoyed more wild times (threesomes) as well. In an effort to feel more confident or “keep up,” she might silently add a few notches to her bedpost as well.
She Wants to Have Sex with a Black Guy… and an Asian Woman
Perhaps your girlfriend cheated because she was interested in having sex with another man of a different race. Maybe someone told her that Latin guys were the most passionate lovers; that Europeans were the most romantic. Sometimes, a cheating girlfriend is bi-curious, so she has a lesbian sexual affair– whatever the reason, your girlfriend has decided that she wants to taste a new flavor – and it’s not yours.
She Wants to Experiment, But Doesn’t Want You to Know
All women have shamefully nasty fantasies residing in the deep, dark recesses of our minds. Kinky, dirty things that we’d love to try- like extreme bondage, double penetration or having an orgy in a pool of rainbow colored Jell-O (don’t ask). And as much as we’d love to share these thoughts – and if we’re brave enough, experiences – with you, we know that it would be a “no-fly zone.” Most of us can live with the idea of leaving the fantasy in the brain, yet some of us choose to instead try it out just once… and just not with you, because we don’t want you to think any less of us in the morning.
