Dealing With Infidelity – When the Cheater Blames You
My husband cheated on me. He broke my heart and it feels like your world is shifting. Is this really happening? Take a few deep breaths, you tell yourself, Just listen to what it is that he has to say.
He opens his mouth to speak, and you are positive that you just misunderstood what he just said. Did he just say it was your fault he cheated? There he goes again, repeating it. He did say it was your fault. Have you gone insane?
The good news is that you’re not crazy. The bad news is, it’ going to feel like you are. Oftentimes, when someone is responsible for breaking the trust in your relationship, married or dating, he will try to shift the blame. Your husband might say you weren’t affectionate enough or too affectionate. He may say you didn’t have time for him and didn’t want to have sex enough.
Whatever your boyfriend or husband’s reasons are for cheating, you need to know that you are NOT responsible for his cheating. True, there may be some things that are flawed in the RELATIONSHIP because of your behaviors, but you cannot be held responsible for how your husband/boyfriend/fiancé reacts to that behavior.
If you want this relationship sorted out, you two need to sit down, and hash things out. You also need to be strong enough to require that he take accountability for his infidelity before you even consider trying to restore your relationship.
It’s really difficult to forgive a husband cheating on you, a man who has betrayed your trust in such a powerful way, especially when he deflects the blame. Such actions are a sign of immaturity and need to be addressed if you’re really interested in working things out. Talk to your man about going to see a couple’s therapist. They will be able to help you both express how you really feel about your future and let go of the past.
No matter what, chica, remember his behavior is NOT your responsibility – NO MATTER WHAT.
