Was He Lying When He Said “I Love You?”
Love Detour is an excellent online blog featuring expert advice “devoted to getting your relationships back on track.” The comprehensive site has phenomenal advice, both from featured experts and guests who reply back to other viewers’ questions on love, marriage, sex, dating and all the problems which occur in between.
Dianna wrote in, stating that her relationship ended when she discovered that her boyfriend of “3 months and 29 days” had been cheating on her. While Dianna admits to finding several convincing pieces of evidence suggesting her boyfriend was cheating, she believed his excuses, especially since he treated her nicely and told her he loved her. When Dianna ran into him coupled with another young lady in public, she confronted them to discover that he not only had no explanation for his actions, but ignored Dianna and gave her the cold shoulder while completely while professing his love and apologies to the other woman. Although the cat’s out the bag, to this day, Dianna’s heart and emotions are still raw. She wonders whether or not this man ever truly loved her. “He cheated on me, but did he ever truly love me once? Or was I just a plaything in his eyes the whole time?”
Most of the readers’ comments have been highly supportive, urging Dianna to remove herself from the past, and to use the present to focus on the future. A few brave souls reminded her that she chose to allow him to explain away all the signs, even though they were in front of her face. “Figure out what went right and wrong in your relationship, and learn from it,” one response stated, as another added, “Remember that nobody will respect you until you respect yourself.”
We felt this advice was completely on point. When you’re betrayed by your cheating boyfriend or husband, it’s hard not to remember all the specific events in which he seemed to put you on a pedestal, but the truth is, no matter how beautiful he made you feel, he still cheated on you, and things did not work out. As you guys don’t have a future, dwelling on his actions only holds you back since you’re stuck in the past and aren’t moving forward.
This isn’t to say your ex-husband never loved you, or your ex-boyfriend never cared. Truthfully speaking, emotions are complicated, and he might have truly cared at some point, but definitely not enough to remain faithful to you. Or, he might have decided that he did love you, but compartmentalized his love for you and the relationship while he cheated on you with other women. Men cheat for different reasons, but make no mistake that if he showed his ass before you found out he was cheating, and never seemed sincere with his actions, you might’ve always known the truth deep down, and continued to ignore it in hopes he’d change.
Either way, you (and Dianna) will be better off when you stop dwelling on whether or not he ever cared, and start working on a path to a happier future as a stronger woman with a man who truly loves and appreciates the beautiful woman you are.
