Boyfriend Cheated? 3 Tips for Getting Over It – and Him Too!
Your boyfriend cheated, and you’re devastated. While you know you’re not alone – every girl who’s been in a relationship has felt the crushing pain of heartbreak of a cheating boyfriend once or twice – your pain is at its heaviest. Heartbreak’s most intense during your initial discovery of his unfaithfulness and while you’re confronting and actually dumping him. The immediate period following your breakup is painful as well, as the wounds are fresh and you’re constantly reminded of what trauma you just went through.
However, being in that rut is actually a choice, and you can make another choice to get out of that slump that you are in. You can choose to shake it off, and move on; away from the pain that’s been holding you back from enjoying the single life. It’s a scientific fact that emotional pain only lasts for less than 15 minutes, and anything over that is actually self-inflicted. So, if you’ve been moping around for days or weeks (or God forbid, months) over your break up, then you’re basically keeping yourself a prisoner.
“He Cheated on Me!” It’s Over. Deal with It. Now.
First, you have come to terms that the relationship is truly and completely over. This is never an easy process, but it’s not an impossible one either. When you have the time and the strength, ask yourself honestly and calmly why the relationship ended. Stop yourself if you notice that you’re leaning towards self-pity and self-destruction once again. It won’t help you at all! Go over the events leading to your break up in your head, and see where things started to go wrong. Usually, if you’re thinking clearly and logically enough, you’ll actually see the point where your relationship starting moving downhill.
Eliminate Emotional Baggage Immediately.
Secondly, stop torturing yourself. Get everything that reminds you of your troubled relationship and your cheating ex out of your sight. You don’t have to throw them away or give them back, you just simply need to store them somewhere when you wont have to constantly be reminded of the painful experience that you just went through. Pack them all in a cardboard box and put them in a high shelf, or perhaps tuck them in some unnoticeable corner of your home and leave them there.
Avoid Morning-After Regret.
Of course, this will be a trying time for you, and the people who know you will notice or hear about it. They’ll usually want to comfort you and be there for you, and while their intentions are good, you’ll usually end up wallowing more in self-pity rather than moving on faster. It’s not a bad idea to accept an offer of a hug and a small cry when they’re offered, but resist the temptation of dragging your friends out for a “newly single” night out on the town. You’ll basically want to get away from the pain, and you’ll be desperate enough to let go of your inhibitions (and common sense) to do so. This is the reason why there so many regrettable and hilarious “morning-after” stories floating around. You really don’t want to be to topic there, believe you me.
The bottom line is, moving on from this kind of pain is neither a mandatory nor an automatic process. You can choose for how long or how short you’ll dwell on the pain. So why not leave behind that worthless scumbag who broke your heart and show the world that you’re stronger than that idiot boyfriend who cheated and left you behind?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I know my boyfriend bryant is cheating on me but I do not know what to do.
I am retarded what's a girl to do?
Alex, why do you think he's cheating? How do you know he's cheating and how do you feel about your relationship overall? Do you love him enough to work things out? What if he doesn't admit to cheating? What would you like to do?
Such an imprseisve answer! You’ve beaten us all with that!
My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and seems to have been on and off throughout our relationship. I had clues from the very beginning but finally put it all together about a year later. I am torn from this and I don't know how to move on. I thought we had a great relationship, we even moved in together and talked about marriage and kids. I don't know where this all went wrong but i still love him and want to forgive him. He texts me everyday and in a weird way makes me feel better. I have been having really bad anxiety from all this and it kills me to know that I just can't cut this off. Does that just come in time?
Ronnie
Sorry to hear about the pain you've been experiencing. It's completely understandable to feel comforted by his text messages; it reassures you that he cares and gives you a sense of hope. However, things are not completely over with his ex-girlfriend. No matter what he says right now, you have to take a step back and empower yourself to put your needs, desires and values first. This starts with taking the time out to determine who you are and what your needs are.
When you take care of yourself, things in your life will fall into place. It may hurt and it may not be easy, but you definitely need to consider what YOU need to do in order to attract the love you want into your life and release attachments to who will provide that love.
yes this is ture
I dont think its really that simple. I am still absolutely and unbelievably in love with my boyfriend even though he did cheat on me. It was under a more complicatd circumstance then any other. We had to part way for a while…but we werent exactly broken up not to me anyway. I mean, I guess to him it seemed like he thought he should move on. It hurts me worse becouse i actually had faith and thought he would wait for me but he did not. We got back together when i confronted him about the cheating, and he broke with her on the spot. He sais im all he thought about when he was with her but i dont know if i should be niave enough to believe that.He came back to me though. I know that and I could never picture myself with anyone else since we got together.I really do love him and I dont want to let go of him ever. Ive made mistakes that he knows about in our relationship and so has he now. It just hurts becouse I never thought he would. I could never end what we have over stupid decisions we made in times of separation and confusion. Comments please? What do you think of my decision? Am i being stupid or do you think i may have a point?