Despite the fact that they’re loaded with romanticism, eroticism and intense, passionate emotions, most cheating isn’t about sex. Oftentimes, there are underlying conflicts within the existing relationship that manifests into betrayal. Such conflicts vary from couple to couple, including lack of respect for the other partner, paying less attention to one another’s needs, a man feeling emasculated by his wife, a partner letting themselves go physically, or emotional distance.

In her book, Sexual Detours: Infidelity and Intimacy at the Crossroads, Dr. Holly Hein lists several reasons for infidelity, many of them universally agreed upon among many experts. According to Dr. Hein, a person may cheat: