Cheating Boyfriends: Can I Blame Myself?
“Why do men cheat? Why do so many women have cheating boyfriends and husbands?”
These are common questions women who have been cheated on need answers to. The answers to these questions seem so important for a simple reason: women tend to blame themselves for bad relationships; it’s a natural aspect of their nurturing characters. It’s not hard for a woman to think she’s done something wrong when things don’t go right, and a loved one is angry, upset or hurt. If her boyfriend cheats, it’s because she’s not pretty enough, not attractive anymore, because she doesn’t give him blowjobs…
… but let’s stop here because this is flawed thinking.
First, it’s a selfish type of thinking. To think you have so much influence and control over someone’s actions that anything they do is a direct result of what you have failed to do is simply ridiculous.
Cheating boyfriends make the choice to cheat – period. Yes, the possibility that he wasn’t thinking could definitely be the case. If you both know for a fact that one too many shots leads him to act out of control, and it results in a one night stand, it’s still his choice. Why? Because he still made a choice to drink, knowing that he can’t control his actions beyond a certain level of intoxication. So even if he says he drank to get his mind off your troubled relationship, he still cheated as a result of his actions.
(And, yes, even sober, enough men – and women- don’t think when they do certain things. Sometimes, people need to see the consequences of their actions to understand that “spontaneous” living comes with a cost.)
Second, it’s his actions and, ultimately, his choice. If he decided that he wanted to get a piece of hot Candy Cottontail, then he made that decision. You weren’t in his head to know his thoughts at that exact moment, so don’t assume you have any direct impact on what cheating boyfriends do at the expense of your sanity. It’s just not worth it. If anything, you can explore why you choose to date men who cheat – and that can make for great self-discovery – but do not allow yourself to feel any type of responsibility for how someone who has free will has liberally chosen to behave based upon their own thoughts and motivations.
What’s Next?
I’d Like to Learn How to Attract a Good Man!
Where Do I Keep Finding these Cheating Boyfriends?
I’m Really Sick of Dating. I Want to Go from Girlfriend to Wife!
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